My Demons are trying to taunt me mum, I constantly feel them pushing through. Maybe it's caused by the way I feel, maybe it's because I miss you.
I miss you every day mum, with every beat of my heart. Although I always knew the day would come, the day we had to part.
I never thought you would leave so soon, I wasn't even 30 and you were gone. You never should of left mum, it's here where you belong.
You will always hold a place in my heart, please believe that this is true. Ill always hold a happy place, I can go to think of you.
I cannot seem to grieve mum, nearly two years I have tried. My pain won't seem to get easier mum, it's still as sore as the day you died.
I wish I could stop the pain mum, and just remember the great memories so true. Of love and laughter and dancing round the house, the crazy times just me and you.
I'd love someone to help me, make the bad thoughts and Demons go away, and help me focus on the good memories forever every day.
There are days I have good thoughts, from memories over the years. The ones that make me laugh and smile, yet still bring me to tears.
Before I go on I have to share, a few memories that make me smile. One's that help me through a bad day, even just for a little while.
I remember snowball fights in winter, back walking in the summer. Coming home soaked and covered in mum, then going back and doing it over.
I remember you shouting and laughing at me, soaked and covered in mud those days when I came home. Making me sit outside til I dried off, looking like a little garden gnome.
I remember being in Scarborough and walking with you and dad, making sylvester speech sounds making you laugh so bad.
I remember you lent over, laughing so hard out loud, those days we had were magical, u always looked at me so proud.
You're other little girl is getting married mum, I can't believe it's true, she knows you will be there with her mum, she really misses you.
She knows you will be with her, when she walks down the Isle, she knows you're there in spirit mum, watching with pride and a smile.
I'm trying to push my life forward mum, I hope that you can see, and when the day comes that I get married mum, I hope you are there with me.
I'm going to write off now mum, i really need to sleep, ill see you in my dreams mum, with the memories I keep.
Goodnight, godbless, sleep well mum.
I love you oh so true,
Sending love and kisses to the stars,
Sent from me to you.
I love you mum xxxx