I say to you,
I grow in your garden 
as you grow in mine.

I grant order and chaos,
no move is yet to play out.

I am All,
all in All....
beginning ending,
beginnings endings.  

Co-creating
in this non-creation,
between blurred lines.
It is there as Humankind you stand..
    
Male and  Female,    
galaxy amid galaxy.

I give you azure for pleasure,  
darkness abides in good measure
beyond this world waits great treasure.

The service I ask of you is short lived and simple..
Love,  love yourself, love one another,  .. just love.
        
I am not away on business
as some would suggest,
I have not forsaken
any of my Creation.

I am always moving in,
always moving out..
forever turning on,
forever turning off.
                
It starts and it ends and it starts again to end again,
Impotence amid Omnipotence, a Mystery never to be solved,
always to live and to die moment by moment.
                
I am beyond your Imagination,
you dwell in my imagination..        
in my image you have your Being.

You will never stand alone,
you are always a part of this dance
in the endless stream of much more.

I carry you
gentley through
soft currents
as well as rocky rapids.

My words to you
do not dwell in a book,
They are alive and bring life.


You were born to create this day,
this Day, the only thing new
under the sun..
Your freedom of will leaves you
to create evil as well as good,
your choice yet not your choice
being forged out of my choice.

There is no light at the end of the tunnel,
you are the Light passing through the tunnel.

You have forgotten who you are,
who you were, who you will be.
Fret not... I come to remind you of the abundance
that is at your fingertips. To help you to turn away
from the notion of scarcity. All you need, you have..

All you will ever need you already have.. you will it to be
At times not knowingly. I am here to move you towards clarity.
You can end the fight bleeding and on the ground
or just not get in the ring... your choice yet again.

Free will is just that..
it is not without consequence.
Ignorance of Universal law is no excuse,
the domino being pushed they tumble  into a future which is here
along side the past, only the moment... infinite.

I will search for you in my little toy boxes
filled with old ancestors and sayings slipped from tongues, revealing stories of my birthmarks
I will search for you in the light
I will search for you in the dark

I will gentley remove my skin
in my mind you are so royal
so monarch

I will drink my water
all alone
I will light my candles
in the late night and imagine what would be the smell of your cologne
I will stare into the world at night until Im
****** and moonstoned

I will linger wax inbetween thigh bones
flirt tales with wishbones
until all the stars beg me to stop
uttering moans

I am beseeched in interlocking strangle
of submission to my loneliness
and waiting with a white transparent dress
on the bridge of london
hoping to see the dark eyes
that put light in the souls of the peasent in my
disabled heart, mused in desguise

should I sit here and speak the anecdotes
and the lies
of the littler girl inside of me
who everytime thinks of your dies
slower and slower
each time

the goodbyes
and the standbys

I reply
I have ran out of supplies
to fix my sunrise

and now I sit here in the absence of bright skies
life I see takes hold of the wise

but you see my lover
for you I shall be patient
I shall be humble

and I shall be kind.

A student again, how cute it is and really I feel free
the thoughts, of life, and planning and how things could be
not tied down to a job and obsessing about my boss did this and that
and what does it mean for me now and why and
today I had a wasted day but that is normal

Because life is full of wasted moments, and
the most tragic moments are those we don't feel
The painful part isn't that we were at the laundromat
and put our stuff down to study and highlight in different colors
and a woman put her family there on top of our stuff with McDonald's for five even
though there were only three, and that there was nothing good at the Goodwill
Even the Rainbow colored sweater from Lane Bryant, which was way too big
and that the laundry from a month took hours and yes, we really do have that many socks

What is wasted are those moments folding the pile of shirts where we are not there
we are somewhere lost in mourning over a lost love and thinking,
he loved me more than he loves her, I just know.
Because all we have at that moment is this pile of a zillion articles of clothing
most of which looks like it could be hanging at the Goodwil and
a flimsy plastic chair and two times the amount of highlighters we needed because they were half price and we are hungry, but the snack machine is turned off and you can
only look at the cookies and hot cheetohs
and yearn for them and imagine the flakey tenderness of the vanilla wafer
crumble gentley into your mouth, and watch your creepy
neighbors walk into the strip mall listening to a song on a phone
like it's a boom box
and this is your moment to feel and live

The frozen river,
Grey mist and cold air escape from little thankful lungs.
I hold your hand.
Your body walks beside me,
Our shadows blend to one.
On the outside your figure looks unscathed,

Your face is bare and clean, your eyes look out clear and blank and mild.

Your hands unclenched and loosely draped,
arms sway slightly from side to side as ballast
for the steps you take.

Broken though. Broken so very deeply.

So that every step your body takes,

you hear the sound of glass.
The ***** and jangle, the music of an utterly shattered self.

I hear you breaking, though you drown it in your headphones.

As you pass me in the street I hear the squelch of your shoes.

Soaked in your own blood so your socks are brown like mud.

And your eyes, they are unguarded as you gentley start to topple.

Vortex of pleaing pain and weighted silence.

A tornado of anguish inside your iris.

As you inhale, your scars are whiter than your teeth.
You pull me in, You want to grab me and beg for help.

For mercy, for release, for suffocation. But you have no voice,

Your tears are gushing but they don't feel wet.

You're flat, and shiny and utterly destroyed,

Beyond repair. The damage is done.

And so I release the mirror,

till our shadows blend,

and the blood is dried,

and the pieces scattered, and the shattered mirror will rest at the bottom of the river.

Only I stand on the bridge.

One body, not two.

Nothing to remind me of you.

But the shattered hole
in the frozen river,

He moves so eligantly.
Gentley sliding her blood stained jeans to the floor.
He kisses her so softly, in places boys never kissed her before.
She closes her eyes to hide the fact shes falling, the harder, and the deeper he moves inside her, the harder and deeper she falls.
She hates her body, so she always tells him to switch of the lights.
Its better that way anyway, you can feel every slight brush of skin against another, every grasp seems to be more intence.
Shes waiting, waiting for you to give in.
So as soon as their all finished and done.
She can lay there, and completely hate herself.
Right until you come and hold her so tightly, so its almost as if his arms, make the scars fade away.
Dont leave her, please dont leave her.
She loves you.
Baby please dont go.

my auora is gentley grazing through a desert of foreign solitude
thank you for everything and I appreciate all the gratitude
but the choice has been made by me yet sometimes I realize this is not what I choose
dont take the diamond for granted child you have nothing to loose
these old buildings eat away at the rays of sun that peek through my window
the ones that wake me up in the morning
every day every day
patience is a virtue, okay okay
I have heard that saying an unbearable amount of times
but holding back this much should be a crime
I miss the sand under my feet
I miss my favorite ice cream store that use to be across the street
I miss the hole in the wall were we all use to meet
you disfavored the smallest iota, all to be taken away from an unbreakable scene
this that him her and everything else in between
I remember those hellos and all the things that went underneath the pale surface
now outside my window I hear a differant kind of circus
It almost sounds like it dosent have a purpose
The empty benches are a bit comforting though

I'm dying,
Don't you understand,
Each and every day,
I'm dying.

I used to think being dead,
Was to mean,
Your heart beat,
Went flat.

But,
Being dead?
Not so much a state of being sometimes...

I'd wake up,
Every morning,
Saying...

"****,
I'm still here?
How am IIIII,
Still here?"

With not much will power for life,
Every day mundane,
Every hour, pointless.

Until it drove me mad,
I became so mad,
I gave that girl in the mirror the finger
And walked
The hell
Away.
She was no good,

And saying to myself after I said...

"Hey bro,
I'm dying each
And every day!

I don't have time for *******,
I don't have the years for hatred,
I don't have the months for grudges,
I don't have the days for no success,
I don't have the hours for wasting,
I don't have the minutes for standing still,

But what I do have,
Is millions
Of itty bitty moments,
Placed together
So perfectly,
That I notice...

I never saw that before i died.
Before the brain waves took a vaction
To
lets be depressed and unsure, unworthy of life

No,
I'd never seen how beautiful

Life is,

When you slow her down,
To a slow dance,
A graceful pause,
A gentle breath,
A simple laugh,
A single tear,
A precious moment.

And Time,
She is just an odd one.
Letting you decide when her dance is done.
But willing to offer so much more,
If you stay.

And There is,
Always,
Always,
Always,
More, my friend.

I would know,
I'm still here,
By some magic of this universe
I got plopped into
21 years ago.

And I've seen enough,
Telling me,

"ehy,
They still want you here,
Your family,
Your pet,
Your friends,
They need you here,
Its not about you!!!

Its about us."

Time will whispers gentley
Into my ears

"its about us,
You are dying,
You will never be eternal,
And life,
Well,
He's a ******* sometimes,
Don't always listen to him,
But never
Never ever,
Take him for granted."

She reasons with me.

"in the end,
You will go,
But now,
Is not the end.

I have much more,
much more,
To show you"

Still,
I'm dying,
And every moment counts.
Every encounter,
Every butterfly in your stomach,
Every bruise you take,
Every battle you fight,
Every love you have,
Every person you care for,
Every memory you hold close,
Every blink,
Every word,
Every whisper,

Its all worth it.

Let it be,
Worth it.

You are dying
Make it worth something to you.

Oh to feel the sun on my face,
Makes my world feel a better place ,
Gentley warming my insipid skin,
After a winter of living within,
Central heating dehydrates,
Hot climates it cannot emulate,
Of course it's bad for us they say,
I'll take my chances anyway,
So I will just sit and enjoy the sun,
When it's not shining out my ***.

two = water bottles ( 16oz  size)
(1 cups - water)

★ 1/8 tsp - iodine (or one drop to 3 drops)
★ 1/8 tsp - salt (any)

★ two finger pinch of = borax
☆ (microwave + one Tbsp - water and the borax == 5 sec. stir )

★ two or three - Tbsp = Witch Hazel
★ opt - one drop = neem oil
★  opt - 1 tsp = Isopropyl alcohol

★ Measure cup - to pour in container
★ water bottle or container (old mouthwash bottle)
★ gentley shake
★ let sit overnight

☆ water down in one to two Tbsp + water  with half cup water = use

☆ brush teeth
☆ brush tongue
☆ brush cheeks & gums
☆ gargle

The Lord my God oh hear my prayer for my beloved nation.
for many have said that you are dead and we sit in tribulation.
Let my sword be sharp my rifle be steel and knife be by my side.
For they will come and among someone is bound to take my life.
If my body comes to fall and im among the dead.
Let my mother know i love her and let my wife be newly wed.
Let my soul rest in your spirit for all eternity.
Let them play the song of dixie when in the dirt they lower me.
But if i fight on through and my life i do not lose.
Let me return unto to those i love to praise and worship you.
Let all glory render unto you and all your gracious name.
Let all men bow their knee unto you and all thy loving aim.
Guide us Lord and find us Lord for we are oh so lost.
See us Lord oh greet us Lord for amany lives are cost.
U.S.A. 2 4 1 age has gentley past.
Many a nation have no paitence for our way of pass.
I seen my Father earthly father working in the mill.
His heart is blue his mind is true for i am off to ****.
So Lord oh Lord dont let me die unto my enemys hand.
For i have those that love me so and count on me again.
But wait it's come my time has come i hear the marching bell.
Were off to fight the ****** terroist and send em all to hell.
.....
Now months have passed im battle born i lost amany friends.
I killed a man with my hands i choked him straight to death.
I shot a ghoul he was a tool a towel on his head.
I sit wonder thinking of of her a time when i was led.
But now i see a burning tree lighters fill the fly.
C130s rolling in rangers in the sky.
God he made em just for war, war and nothing else.
Hell its true just ask the stew he brews it all the best.
Said he knew a ****** down in ringo just before he came.
But all the stories made of **** this war will never change.
And you wouldnt believe it unless you seen it.
But theres demons in the trees.
Just ask a copral he will tell you
Burn those ******* things.
And if i told you about the smell that sometimes fills the air.
You would probably say that ive gone insane but man its burning flesh.
Goodnight mary goodnight bobby goodnight dear marine.
Hope your *** dont ******* die somewhere in beetween.
.....
Back Home now things have things my wife turned to a *****.
Mom she got the loss of mind and dad he died before.
Brothers got a nasty cancer only got two months.
my mind it keeps on hurting me i wake up their a bunch.
i put a psitol in my mouth cause **** just stays the same.
once a marine die a marine cause war dont ******* change.