ο»ΏA FIGURE OF HATE
At barely 8 years I was introduced to a man.
How little I knew what my life would become.
It started ok back in '76,
When the long hot days came rolling in.
With him came holidays, gifts & new cars,
New places to visit, each one with a bar.
'77 came and it was all still OK,
Still not aware but of things of the day.
The bunting was stretched from house to house in the street,
All in celebration of our Queens Jubilee.
There was Punk on the radio and games on the green.
Street parties galore beneath the red, white & blue scene.
When the bunting came down later on that same year,
All things seemed to change, now there was nothing to cheer.
I'd sit all alone on the front step to my home,
My arm round my dog, just us all alone.
We'd sit there & wait for a man to walk past,
It's my dad going home, his day finished at last.
Sometimes he'd wave with a smile on his face,
On other days we'd miss him...
He's already gone past.
So, back to the man who'd been settling in,
A home for his kids with my mum & her kid.
He soon set about moving my whole world around.
Everything I knew was turning upside down.
Gone were the days of long walks with the dog,
Along valleys, through trees, along rivers & streams.
It was all so good with just me & my mum.
While surrounded by "family", I never felt more alone.
Now a 9 year old isolated through no fault of his own.
Bullied & tortured through words and not deeds.
Words never leave scars, so who would believe?
Every long day would blur into the next,
I'd wear my smile into school and hope for the best.
From '78 to '84 his abuse was never ending,
I was constantly blamed for, well, constantly breathing.
Coming home from school wondering if I'd done wrong,
... How could I have done anything wrong? I hadn't even been home!
No my mum she never knew, he said she wouldn't care,
"You'd better keep it shut cuz no one wants to hear you whine!"
"You're nothing but a selfish..! Is there anything in that head?!"
"I've tidied your room, you'll find everything in the bin!"
"I've booked our holiday. Spain. You'll stay here to look after the dog..."
Endless days turned into years, his constant barrage lasted 9 long years.
Who could I tell? Would anyone listen? There's surely someone to release me from prison
That figure of hate who had held me so tight throughout each year of my miserable life,
Now he has gone and the scars still remain,
I can still smile on, even through the rain.
John Flanagan 24/11/16
