Are you lucky enough to have found your soulmate? Have you been blessed enough to find the one who you were made to love? Have you met the one who was so perfect for you, your heartbeats were always in sync? I have, lucky me right? This man was my own personal brand of heroine. I ordered his natural scent than that of any perfume or cologne? The high he gave me was better than any drug. He became the addiction I never thought i could have. And i wanted no parts of cure. He was my entire reason for even existing. Even when he put me thorough hell and blood and tears stained my pillow, i knew life without him would be 10xs worse than any pain he could ever inflict.
Few peoplein the world are lucky enough to find their one in a trillion equal. I have found mine twice which is a phenomenal thing all in itself. Lucky me right? He was my permanent weak spot, my drug of choice, my obsession. And his love for me was wider than the entire universe. We were made for no one but each other. I saw only him in a room full of people. Our very own happily ever after. The perfect fairytale world of any normal adolescent girl was born with him. Lucky me right?
Well, like all fairytales there is always a villain. He came in the middle of the night and stole everything i thought i couldn't live without. In a flash everything i held dear was gone. The very breathe in my lungs left me and i died a slow death. But then a familiar friend found me and breathed for me. SHE poured life back into my brokenness and restored everything i had lost. The love, the passion, the desperation for the love of my life was the exact feeling I got when she walked into a room. Every bar he set she met rapidly. The high, the state of euphoria, she was able to replicate with no effort at all. For the heart palpataions he gave me with every kiss, she put a million butterflies in stomach with the touch of her lips. The mountains of lavish gifts he showered me with, i got her undivided attention which put me in pure bliss. Everything I fell in love with about him I found it in her. Lucky me right? Everything including the fact that i will never stop craving and fiening for them both but i will never again be able to call any of them mine again.
Where you ever lucky enough to find your soulmate? I was, twice. Lucky me right?
I wrote this poem about my husband who i lost to suicide. And i found a very unexpected love in my best friend. And even after we broke up I couldn't figure out why i couldn't get over her. Why i was so drawn to her and never wanted to be more than 5 ft away from her. I never even wanted to get over her and i had an epiphany one day that she was the female version of my husband. They were exactly alike. And it's bittersweet. I hope you enjoy it.