load your bullets
in the firing chamber
and they'll fly
from your lips,
ricochet and lodge
past the scarce armor
of my ribcage
into this glass heart of mine
     let my insecurities bleed out
                         don't staunch the flow

pierce my skin
with the shards of my heart
end my misery,
squeeze the trigger
with practiced ease
     breathe in,
          breathe out
               breathe in,
                    breathe out

                             *(you'll find another victim
                              downrange of you)

Suddenly my hands feel so much more used to holding someone.
It feels so natural when she pulls my arms around her, my hands on her hips.
Gazing into her eyes, her arms around my neck.
That knowing smile on her face.
I can feel myself blinking nervously, and she grins wider.
Now my rifle has competition.
Because with as much as I enjoy pulling the trigger and firing a round downrange,
I enjoy intertwining myself with her even more.

When firing ones mouth be curious downrange ..
I'd advise a field wagon of caution coupled with good old fashioned
"Kentucky windage" to insure those 'steely *****' are addressing
the intended target ..

my brain is a shooting range
where synapses and neurons
fire downrange
resulting in all these tear-soaked pages
where i chronicle
in great detail
the pain of my human condition

maybe that's angsty and over dramatic
i feel like that's one of my bad habits
but i try not to lie
(especially to myself)
and i don't want to glamorize
(that's good for no one's mental health)
so i slit the wrists of my emotions
and bleed out words and thoughts and notions
in the desperate hope that maybe
- just maybe -
someone out there who reads this will understand me

because my experiences are mine and mine alone
but that doesn't mean no one else has ever known
the way i feel and my innermost thoughts
and maybe even captured those feelings in snapshots
in the same way that i go about
putting pen to paper to chronicle this fallout

and there is something so magical about those connections
and knowing you're not alone, even in endless dimensions
so thank you, my darling, my friend,
for sharing your soul with me
and showing me how to truly live free
of the fetters and chains of societal expectations
so i can strive to be my best self and shrug off their predilections