I have pieces of myself
In boxes under the  bed.
Tonight I'll take each,
Neat brown parcel into
The woods
And burn them.

The parts that feel
The parts that sing
The parts that care for anything

The parts that remember
Will disintigrate in the embers
Of the first summer fire.
Erasing every trace of my presence here.

Time to disappear
Into the night like
A vapor in the wind.

Follow if you wish.

I walk into an empty room
and your presence leaks from every pore,
unwinds itself from the fibers of the bleach spotted carpet,
leaps up from the wicker trash can you left behind,
screams at me in the pump-swish of the ceiling fan.
This room - what's left of us now.
Your truck is still in the driveway but
it already feels like you are gone.
This room is us now
and I want to beat the walls for its emptiness.
I didn't mean to fall in love
but now the sun only rises and sets for you.

I lie on the floor
atop our skin cells and fallen strands of hair
that are surely trapped beneath me,
only to disintigrate into my purest essential particles,
protected from the ecstatic pain of love.

So hard to breathe as the tendrils of anxiety grip my lungs,
Suffocated by memories of my failures and shortcomings,
I think of being calm and reach out to God unsure if there is one,
I try and think of all that is good around me,
Trying to silence the whispers of self doubt and the shouts of despair,
Like trying to change the course of a river that is reluctant,
I reach a place inside where I may introspect,
From a child that was a clean slate and curious of the wonders of its existence,
To now someone who has lost that innocence and vision,
I come to terms with hopes and dreams of the past,
Unburden my present of the high expectations of the child,
I'll never be the the famed person who excelled at everything they did,
I'll never uncover the secrets of this universe nor achieve nirvana,
Perhaps I'll grow having lived life a decent person,
Maybe I'll even have some people care for me in my last hours,
And then as I disintigrate into nothingness my will can live on,
In the atoms and molecules that once made me,
When take shape of someone else who might accomplish all the miracles I could not,
There is peace inside me now.