Cold sweats and cuss words
Body weakened and defeated
To long for something that you dont want
To desire a quick death
My head, rings louder than a mobile phone during sunday service.
Stress seriously stirs within my day.
My will disintergrating litte by little,
I will fall
But I refused to break
Everyday, every step, every breath
a test against my myself
I wont give in,
I wont give up.

Do you see the child you were? loved? Teased?
Do you see the adult you are? Responsible? Tired?
Do you see today's society? Disintergrating? Not caring?
Do you see the past, and miss what's gone?
Do you see the future? Is it bright, or bleak?
Do you history repeating itself?
Do you see the chasm between the rich and richer?
Do you see the poor?
Do you hear the politicians lies and promises?
Do you fear tomorrow?
Do you watch the world and think why? What's the point?
Do you self medicate? Drink, take drugs just to ease the pain?
Do you sleep peacefully? Fitfully? Not at all?
Do you fear the day that you realise you could be a part of Armageddon?
I DO.

Think of your skeleton,
and think of what’s wrapped around it.
Now close your eyes and feel its weight.

Delete it.

Delete every one of your two-hundred-plus bones.
begin in your core;
your spine
your neck
your ribs.

Feel yourself implode.

Your centre’s now a black hole
a void.
Your lungs collapse first
squeeeezing
the air into a mist
that hovers over the alien vacuums tug.

Your intestines are untangling
and your lips are tingling.
You’re disintergrating

no,
evaporating.

Feel every atom of your existence fading…
Can you feel it?
Can you feel it?

I was carried by an invisible force,
aboard the train of wanderlust.
No one told me to get down, to get off
because the only inhabitants of the station
were blankets of mental dust.

The train bore me far away,
to realms that were in their making.
Realms of wonder and splendour
and realms of utter confusion
that were slowly disintergrating.

It travelled along an endless track
that kept vanishing from behind.
The fear of getting lost didn’t leave me,
the shadow of loss swallowed me.
Would I ever be able to get back?

I looked out the window
and saw the worlds coalesce and separate.
Where these lands a remnant of the past,
a figment of the future or an invasion
of the present in a form I didn’t know.

If my consciousness was being sought
by anyone who wasn’t lost,
they would find it, sitting and moving,
struggling  and jumping and travelling
in the train of thought.