Searching for my strength in my own self pity has left we weak of spirit and depleated of hope.
I am at a depilating stand still.
To pause is to fail.
To rest creates guilt.
By losing my sense of self,
I have lost my truth.
My instincts have been reduced to a whimper.

She waits for him to call her
But the phone just doesn't ring
A knock on the door, shatters her soul
From the heartache that it brings

There stands two men in uniform
They ask her to be seated
Her heart weighs heavy with sorrow
Her hopes dreams depleated

They tell the woman, "He's not dead,
He's only missing in action"
But for a soilder in Afghanistan
This brought her no satisfaction

This was his second tour of duty
And was schelduled to get a leave
This news that her husband was missing
Was impossible to believe

She's heard about the horrible things
They do to a captured G.I.
She falls to the floor in a puddle of tears
As the woman begins to cry

Three weeks later, and still no news
She's numb, for there's no more tears
She hears a knock, for the second time
Could this be her deepest fears?

Once again two men stand in uniform
As her heart begins to bleed
Then suddenly, a third man appears
For her husband had finally been freed

This poem was written in honor
Of the soilders who keep us free
And we should never take for granted
This thing called Liberty

You didn't give me a job you gave me a skill you didn't teach me lessons you gave me knowledge you didn't give me words of advice you gave me a mindset you didn't lecture me you taught me a craft:
   To the man that said sugar over vinegar and blood over water pride over ego and lessons are in disguise-

My ego blinded me from the life lessons I so desperatel needed
Now my ego has depleated and my eyes are open more than a 24/7 gas station - clarity finally; t
But Its clear to me that the clarity  I so longed for was impairing my morality and that aint fair to me
So I recoup regroup revision  all my decisions  and invision a day I actually listen

Before you say,
"You are holding on to me too much"
Let me tell you, not cheesily but realistically
That you are all I have
In a world of "hi-bye" conversations
You are one to whom I can talk about
Every book I've read or every political opinion I have
Every thought that passes in the blink of an eye
Every feeling I've felt at every moment I've spent
Every thing, with or without significance, alike
You are the one whom I introduce to my mother
With a smile that says,
"Mom, this is the reason why I've been sleeping peacefully
And breathing easily
And not feeling as lonely as I used to be"
So before you ask,
"Oh, so I can't hang out with anyone else now?"
I'll tell you that you can
But I can't
Because I can't relate to anyone else
In this world of formalities and judgement
That I feel left-out when you aren't there
So when I sit there with gloomy eyes
And tell you,
"I'm fine. I'm just sleepy, that's all"
What I actually wanna say is,
"OH, I ******* HATE EVERYONE"
But you don't have to hunch your back carrying my burdens
I am an ever-lasting internal battle
You won't understand me
Neither will you, or you, or you, or you
And before you say,
"It's all just an illusion, you're not as lonely as you think you are"
I am
Because I find myself in dark corners at times
Severely depleated in shoulders to cry on
You don't know what that's like
You don't know what it's like to sleep on a wet pillow every night
Dreading every single day
You don't know how it's like to hide underneath desks
And make up plausible excuses for your ever-lasting sadness
And before you say,
"Poor people are dying in our country-"
I know, I know they are
Charlie from Perks of Being a Wallflower said that,
"When my children grow up and they are facing problems like these
I won't tell them things like kids are starving in other countries
Because it isn't gonna make them feel any better"
I wish people like Charlie were real
So everytime you say,
"I'll be there for you"
Like this is ******* 'Friends'
I don't believe it for a single second
I don't need you to make promises out of sympathy
Truth is, this won't exist if people really gave a ****
And when you ask,
"What do you want from life?"
Honestly... honestly?
All I want is someone to come and put a hand on my shoulder
Look me in the eye and ask,
"How has your day been?"
And listen to each and every word of my reply
Listen to why I write such poems at midnight
Why I feel the way I do
And then maybe, maybe
You'll understand why I don't want to let go of you

A retired man returns to work:
he's tired of his freedom.
Watched every show,
Read many books,
The lone-king of his kingdom.

A life of striving, working, waiting,
finally completed.
Now finds it empty,
finds it wasted,
hope has been depleated.

He woke at last before his death,
and let out one last sigh.
Reflections hurt,
Regrets aplenty,
Long past time to die.

I see that you're depleated,
Years of colors bleeding has left you in a gray wash.
I splash beautiful spectrums here and there, they adorn you vibrantly for a moment before fading away.
I see the same spark in your eyes, come and go.
A fire that burns wild before self snuffing.
You ache to rekindle the flame,
if only for a moment,
Spreading wildfires.
Burning everthing in your path until theres nothing left but ashes.

Sad flowers bloom in the night
You wonder how you’ve come this far
You stay up late till the dawn
To watch the sun rise.
Loose change behind the cracks
You pick them up, rinse them off
Don’t give up now you’ve come this far
******* tight and take a flight.
  Emotionally depleated-
  Uprooted;
  Anything goes in this town
  But like clockwork you repeat it
  And tears fall from your eyes like waterfalls to the river...
Sad flowers bloom in the night
I know your kind the classic type
You walk around head in the clouds
You chase your dreams
Till they become
The driving force
That wake you up.

But I didn’t.
I think why is important, but maybe I’m just ****** up.
Lately I’ve been doing a lot of thinking. And if thinking about thinking is a thing I’ve been doing too much of it.
I’m stuck right now. To explain what I mean it’s like everytime I try to fall asleep my mind forbids it. I’m given no peace even when I’m actively looking for it, and I hope it’s just not me. I hope I can fix this.
I don’t want to spend every night with my heart in my ears and my eyes shut but the voice in my head won’t stop going in directions I don’t have energy for.
I’ve tried everything. I’ve tried talking it into real life, making the voice in my head a conversation with someone. I’ve tried meditating, but honestly who am I kidding. I’ve tried counting sheep, telling myself to think about sleeping, to stop thinking, but nothing.
The only thing that really helps is driving. When I drive I can escape. When I’m not even comforted by my own bed the roads ease my mind. I think it’s because it gives me nothing to think about. I dont have to use my head for anything except driving. Sometimes I just drive down the coast and think about going as far as I can but then I remeber...
I have all this **** to deal with.
Responsible people have obligations to fulfill. I can’t just do whatever I want.
I don’t know what I can do anymore, and I think that’s why I almost cried. I feel like everything I worked to create has depleated into potentionalless burdens. Maybe I’m being ******* myself but lately I feel like I can do nothing good.
I’m lost in this state of mind that won’t let me go. I’m used to being strong and learning to deal with lifes messes but this is too much.
I don’t know what’ll fix me or this or whatever, but I think a cry might do me some good.