"companionships" poems
Now there's too much to handle, so I'll let my mind meander,
Taking a moment to rack my brain for the kind of wisdom
That only years of failure can achieve, the kind I'm too cowardly
To allow myself to discover. Growth and peace do not come easy
In a world that slowly poisons the mind with a false sense of urgency.
I've let myself imagine what I would do with power
To rival the great gods of ancient times- simpler times,
But the gods seldom used their abilities toward benevolent ends.
Would I ruin others lives to fulfill my selfish endeavors?
Such questions echo in my head, tantamount to denying denial.
Walking under the trees reminds me of the possibility of deep sleep.
Listening to the forest whisper secrets through their branches,
Privy to all their knowledge and comforted by their strength,
I envy their solidarity and salute to their resilience, contrasting
My surrender to insomnia, depositing sand under my eyes like graves.
Feeling small makes me recall the days when I was the apple
Of my father's eye, innocently promising to never disappoint him. Now,
A disappointment-tainted smile greets me, both the Snake and the fruit.
Clinging to an empty shell of memories equally treasured and torturing,
I'm made aware that we also let down the people who never held much hope.
For a short time I thought that love grew from letting a person
Take everything I could give. Having out grown such dangerously
Low self esteem, I'm left still wondering how others are able
To sustain long term companionships of shared trust and intimacy.
I admire them from my window, for so long lonesome until recently.
I stubbornly believe that ***** and books take the cake when
Escaping from bottled up feelings too complicated to express
In coherent stanzas with the hope that one day someone will understand.
Until then, I'll dance dazed to music turned all the way up
In an attempt to blare out the ugliness of the past always pressing in.
Dec 9, 2010
Dec 9, 2010 at 8:16 PM UTC
یقینوں کی سرحد، سوالوں سے آگے
گمانوں سے اوپر، خیالوں سے آگے
حقیقت کی پہچان باطن سے جاگے
دلیلوں سے بالا، حوالوں سے آگے
مری سوچ کی جس جگہ انتہا ہے
جلایت سماوی، تپش منتہیٰ ہے
ذرائع ، وسیلے، نشاں, استعارے
قدم دو قدم ساتھ چلتے سہارے
سبھی راستوں پر توکل زمینیں
سبھی گردشوں میں مقابل جبینیں
ہجومِ سلاسل میں قلبِ مجرد
جہاں نہ رسائی ہو ایسی وہ خلوت
وہاں کوئی نفسی، خودی، نہ انا ہے
مری سوچ کی جس جگہ انتہا ہے
وہاں پر خدا ہے، وہاں بھی خدا ہے
ع
۱۰۔۳۔۱۷
The dominion of faith is beyond the line of questions
Above the strata of probabilities
Ahead of the limits of imaginations
Recognition of truth arises from within
Independent of reasoning and evidence
Unaffected by references and certifications.
Where is the boundary of my awareness?
Heavenly light, infinite candescence
Resources, means, symbolisms, provenance
Temporary camaraderies and companionships...
On all paths, the ground is made of tawakul
In all circumvolutions, brows are directed centrally
In the swarm of connectivity, the core remains vacant
Where nothing can reach, such is the solitude there
Where there is no person, no self, no ego
Where there is the boundary of my awareness
There is God! There, too, is God.
A
10.3.17
Apr 2, 2017
Apr 2, 2017 at 12:25 AM UTC
the rocking chair creaked, its wooden beams
sagging underneath the weight at the seams,
the love affairs, the sweet motherly memories
seeped into its grains, into the sockets
which eyes stare from an high, high place
wonder, wonder what these eyes
ingrained in the wood would say
about the lives of its companionships
rocking the bodies of souls,
hurting and bleeding,
laughing and sleeping
sore all over so it strained to stand up
and trembling with exhaustion to finally rest
upon the rocking chair...
a rocking chair, with eyes gnarled with siege
sieged, surely, by imperfections embodying the
the spirit of human lifetimes
Jul 31, 2017
Jul 31, 2017 at 7:04 PM UTC
Let me show you that I'm capable of relationships,
companionships,
That I'm capable of caring and opening up.
Im capable of everything you need but I know there's no chance.
I know that you've decided to run away and I know that I've decided to stand and face the truth.
The truth is;
a slap in the face,
a message unread,
feelings unsaid.
The truth hurts and that's because there's no excuse.
Sep 4, 2017
Sep 4, 2017 at 8:48 PM UTC