"colorlessly" poems
the morning wake-up call
from a horrifying dream sequence
the kind where you slowly sit up in silence
& stare at the wall
too shocked to make a sound
the nightmare was in itself normal
everyone was kind to me
but it felt untrue
they all had daggers hidden
deep in their palms
ready to strike at my slightest
faltering
I made my coffee and dove
into the online world
where he found me as a green dot
on the screen
sought me out and mentioned
that fate had once again not been
our mutual friend
& he had walked in my mother's
door just as I had left
the other day
the tears welled up
casting colorlessly behind my hair
I knew it too
I saw his car hiding in the back
but I kept on driving
I had to go
I had to go
now my hands are shaking
another outcome of
too much java
& not enough sustenance
he kept asking what was wrong
what was wrong
its all wrong, honey
& I'm two short tiptoes from
driving into
an open field
clutching unharvested crops
& screaming until my
lungs give
out
I should have stayed
May 2, 2012
May 2, 2012 at 12:47 PM UTC
Impossibilities in my head,
Truths in my hand,
I walk alone in the desert,
Your memories like the sand,
Flow all the way,
Through the masquerade.
Days and months, crammed in my head,
The shards fall through my hands,
As I remember,
Your eyes like the shimmering sun,
I’m lost somewhere,
Deep inside my charade,
As the fragments slip by,
I’m lost inside your eyes,
Images and words,
I’d breathe in the past,
And as the ocean overruns,
All my bridges back to you,
I’ll stare into the silence,
Tonight I won’t last,
Without you,
Without you.
The theater of my dreams,
Echoing empty feelings,
Stranger things have happened,
Still I can never walk free,
Pretending,
You never happened,
The crimson tide flows,
Colorlessly through my eyes,
I may be the one to blame,
But this is all too much,
To take in,
And the cuts only deepen.
As the fragments slip by,
I’m lost inside your eyes,
Images and words,
I’d breathe in the past,
And as the ocean overruns,
All my bridges back to you,
I’ll stare into the silence,
Tonight I won’t last,
Without you, Without you.
Sep 13, 2014
Sep 13, 2014 at 11:09 AM UTC