My wife wants me to stop speaking with an Alien tongue
I picked it up whilst sleeping and now use it for fun
A frequent burst of sounds at speed
Enough for human ears to bleed

Burr boopty book, burr boopty boop
Ahta batta batta ba
Ahta batta batta ba
Ahta batta batta ba

I'm communicating with them now
I'm through to their leader Emperor Mow
His tone is full of rage
He doesn't know I'm a man of middle age.

If you start speaking alien to your spouse
And rambling in the middle of the house
Please keep the conversation glee
As we don't need World War 3

The flames be flyin' hot tonight,
so the horns be heatin' up just right!

Skeep-deep-do-bop-bee-bop-do-skeetle-****-woo-woo, hell-bop-ba-ska-da fra-la-la-la-la-la-la-foo-foo, yous,
look-see-dee-wee-boys doin' da voodoo,
look-see-dee-wee-girls playin' wid hoodoo.

Cuz, I'm a ****-man,
it's a fat fact ma'am!
Yeah, I'm a ****-man,
it's a fat fact ma'am.

And I dun gives a ****
if there's no reason to the ****-plan.

If you come across the fancy bowler hat,
dun be afraid to start stuttering the big skat:

Batta-tat-tat looksee-da-flat-uncool-rat
givin' his square-eyed-glare to-the-****-cats     ~meow~
skee-shee-flyin'-the-sillee like a banshee,
singin' sillee-skee-shee-all-fancee-free -

and we putssss on the br(e)ak(e)s

just            
like                                                  thisssssss­s (!)


      and
                in  h    a         l               e ....


Go! Go!              GO!

Skeep-deep-do-bop -bee- bop-do-skeetle-****-woo-woo,
hell-bop ba-ska-da fra-la-la-la-la-la-la-foo-foo,
look-see-dee-wee-boys doin' da voodoo,
look-see-dee-wee-girls playin' wid-hoodoo.

Yeah, I'm a ****-man,
it's a fact ma'am!                       x2
Yeah, I'm a ****-man,  
it's a fact ma'am.

The rains came.
No matter.
The Irish kids with Hebrew names
still took to the lot behind the redbrick
apartments to play a close-quarters
game of baseball.
From home plate to first base
the distance was ten yards.
From first to second, fifteen.
Runners placed one hand
on a rusted iron pole, once
used as one half of a clothesline,
a makeshift third.
Their frequency of play
rendered the space between
bases grassless.
And in the rain on that September
day, the lines became sludge.
The muck claimed shoes
of earnest feet, badged the
legs of the best hitters.
Hey batta. Hey batta.
Thunder overhead and
all around.
A lean, blonde-haired
boy, all legs and arms,
got a piece of the ball
on his first pitch.
Upward into the clouds,
upward into the invisible.
He took first, started for
second.
The others kept waiting
for the ball to come back
down.

buzz buzz bizz bazz fizz fazz shally wazz fazeem shilly shally fo sheem I'm a beam of light bring forth the maker bring forth the taker let the maker make and the taker take for that is who they are in the grand scheme of things there is no grand scheme its a grand ol dream its a grand ol stream of beams oh beam oh beam we live in a dream within a dream a mise en ebyme a tone within a tone a moan within a moan we live in a cry within a cry we live in a die within a die and it's all a lie within a lie that makes a truth within a truth after all there is no proof there's only me sitting aloof sitting in the booth waiting for my food at the local diner but I've never felt any finer than when I got that lovely shiny shiner I might be what you consider an anti-liner gotta pick up my binder and swing batta batta whisk the batter batter doughhh

Shannadoa, laquadesh. Batta-anna, mlick ka dek.

Philly fickle ******,
Nickle dime dash,
Dangle ****** bongle,
Bickle bockle bash,
Sunny sun sunshine,
Beady brain bright,
****** lovey Mondays,
Matthew mum might.

George Will is a joke
Born in the U.S.A.

I went to James Madison
Listened along the Way

Edmund Burke is better
So is Caloh! Callay!

Will's a racist with a bowtie
He struck out on Saturday

Hey batta batta batta
Swing and a miss - KKK