At a time when I’d never seen
What chaos love creates in the mind,
I wrote a Valentine’s poem.
Chocolate and flowers won’t do, I announced.
I want a man of substance.
As if I was full of substance, me:
This silly little girl pining over boys
Instead of doing her homework.
Substance, to me, was only words
That came straight from the heart.
Those pretty ripples on the surface of the water
Embodied the essence of everything.
What gems lay on the floor of the sea,
Raw, sunken and hardly visible,
Did not matter in the least.
Today I swim about with flailing arms
Like a lost snorkeler in the deep Caribbean
Reaching out for the slightest glimmer I see.
Diamonds and pearls, please come to me!
I’ll treasure you till eternity.
But alas, it is dust sparkling in the sun
And nothing more. I find I must
Let go of my dream of spotting gleaming
Jewels floating above the ocean floor.
This silly little girl is now pining over dreams
Instead of living a dry reality.
Perhaps a man of substance has no need
In this world full of deceptive discoveries.
Perhaps chocolate and flowers can
Shroud my thoughts in their sweetness,
Just to keep me happy.
And perhaps movies are made cheesy
To reflect our shallow truth,
Wrapped in cellophane and ribbons,
Straight from the nearest Archies Gallery.

and so it goes ....*

No my dear son
Today no longer will I
imprison you in my dreams
but let you find your wings
and your own private skies...

But once in a while
let me gloat over your "A"s
and mull if its a steth
you will pick
or a robot
you will make


No my dear son
no longer will I
crush you with my hopes
but let you blow
your own young bubbles
in expanding varied shades


But once in a while
or maybe for a day
or two let me
lecture you
on the wise management
of your time.



No my dear son
No longer will I
****** my ambitions on you
But let you hit goals
on your muddy foot ball ground


But once in a while
when you are curled up with Archies
let me brood
if only for a little while
if its Ruskin Bond
you should be reading instead


Or maybe...

just let me offer you
a slice of my dreams
a pinch of my hope
and a very tiny speck
of my ambition

After all...


I too need to breathe.

The reason so many children are born in November

2. Archies/ Hallmark marketing strategy.

3. A day that will never ever meet your expectations.

4. when love is in the air but you're ALWAYS ALWAYS breathing a different air.

5. The ultimate reason to buy yourself chocolates and throw a pity party

6. A day when single people will only see couples walking hand in hand; God's Magnum Opus hell of a psychology experiment.

a houseplant is starting to grow a new leaf,
so i know an old leaf is about to die.
little triangle corners from packets torn open,
all over my kitchen counter.
bookmarks in books
i haven't read in ages.
tiny scars on my hands
from playing the ukulele.
alarms i had set for things,
that don't make sense anymore.
the yellowing old paper
of my birth certificate.
amazon wish-list
of things i don't really need.
the artist and the writer
who got married,
not
for the idea of romance
but
for all the right reasons.
the birthdays
i am forever forgetting.
a friend's coffee mug
from Archies,
that reminds me of a
childhood memory
i thought i had lost.
the smell of inspiration
is of bonfire
and bakeries.
watching Ps I Love You
only to cry.
walking;
stopping at the teashop
on the way home.
struggling to be honest.
writing a list
of little thoughts,
memories and details
from a life.