Am all alone,
The world is empty,
I've searched for long,
I've found none.

Alone in here.
Alone in the world
Am all alone!
My street knows my lone footfall,
Even my bed can tell of no other skin felt.
Am all alone.

The wind bears me witness,
The sky sees me in loneshade.
Even the winter reminds me of aloness,
When its cold hands fondles me.

Now,even now i know!
The world is empty!
I've searched and found none,
Am all alone in here.
Alone in the world.

The sad feel of
Aloneness
Transforming as others
In groups or pairs
Laughingly rush by
The happy feel of
Aloness
Transforming as others
In groups or pairs
Quickly  , quietly disappear
Now happy thoughts
And happy feelings
Can collect

A regards to the singlular
Chaos,
But life dwelling is not a
Trek alone:

   I forecast order in a feminine
Touch that clouds the menacing
Aloness,
That order feminine
Which will throw away old
Things lukewarm in my
Memory,
The old cup that barely bears
The insignia of my team,
An order feminine which will
Prearrange all the chaos
And let me fill it's orders,
A space all my own,
A dusty garage
And all the feminine order
Will not follow me there,
But direct like a good woman
Does pushing behind every man.

An oder feminine like the sweet
Smelling home she scents
As with everything she touches,
    The chaos will never truly
Die,
It will slumber and awaken a few times a week,
An occasional game and fire and meat,
And filling in the time
Between the spaces,
An order feminine
Diguises a brute and differs
Into a man.

I woke up in Omaha Nebraska off California street
with the sun kissing me through the open window
I woke up with no alarm,
Alarmed by the fact that I might be late for work
But I wasn't
In fact I was right ON time
Put off by the fact that it was nothing or no one that awoke me,
But my own conscious self
Knowing somehow, that even with my eyes closed
My thoughts were wide open
I was fully aware
My naked body arose from where I slept
And crept up in a home ( not of my own )
To awkwardly put on MY OWN clothes
Through someone else's window
.. I start to think ..
How often I really have put on my own clothes
Through someone else's window
Looking closely now,
I change the word 'window' to 'perception'
Kind of like my own sort of window,
My own way of perception
How often I dress myself for the occasion,
or better yet, THEIR occasion
How often I've put on those skinny jeans,
Because YOU like them
How often I wear a bra
Because you don't want to see what my *****
look like through my favorite silk shirt
When I say 'you' - You know who you are
At least, you know who you might be
How often times people do things for you
How often times you do things for other people
How often you hold yourself back from being you - at all
How many times I have held myself back from being me,
And **** it's such a shame. I am ashamed.
Honestly by the most simple things
Overthinking a compliment I want to give someone
Because we are about to pass each other on the same side of the street
Avoiding their eye contact by just looking down
And staring at my own feet

COOL. REALLY. COOL.

I have been wearing these moccasins for 4 months now, Alisha
They look good, but I already know this
I am not the one who needs to hear it
Especially, not from myself
And I don't know them at all, but maybe,
Just maybe, what I want to say to them
Could break down what we all thought was an everlasting wall
Whether it be MINE or THEIRS
At the end of the chapter,
A wall that separates us from our own freeedom
Where we break down all similar walls and learn to defeat them
If anything, a smile, maybe a compliment back,
Not even to myself, but the next person down the track
It's a small movement, but I want it to move
I am making this promise to myself,
Because I want to improve
I want to make things that are so simple
More common in this world
Things that should not be overlooked,
Spread out amongst everyone and painted on their face like a mural
Desire for this righteous fire I want to be in power of
Spreading my smile for literal miles
Like Noahs Ark and that sacred white dove
The best thing about a dove is
It is just but a white pigeon
And every pigeon is capable of finding its white dove within him

It is there, and it always has been
Right under your sleeve
In the sliver of your grin
We can make this world more than you ever imagined
The power behind the strength of passion
When people come together in the form of one
When we all hold hands
Do you know what is being done
Connection is so out of this world
Touch is what keeps us in this treacherous swirl
Deadly sins that we latch on to
Riding the dragon is what we need to
Do, and do again
Tell the entire world, and invite all your friends
We are all Great Gods in this lonesome kingdom
The path to aloness is what is hidden underneath you
Very beneath you, you will have to fight
Fight to the death of your ego inside
It holds no mold, despite all you have been told
This world will **** you in,
and drag down your immortal soul
It is there, and it always has been
I will show you the road
Soften your ego, and create a new mold
You could stay here forever if what you look for is gold
Not the the gold that you see, but the gold that you feel
Not in front of your eyes, but what is actually real
No picture or place, No space or time
Use what you want to invent your new rhyme
Rhythm is now, rhyming is here
The goal of music
(Your mathematical medicine, my dear)
Replace your body with tunes of the soul
Sing the great white song
And let the youth be OH SO BOLD
Bolder than you could have possibly pictured
The movie you've been waiting for
Is your motion picture
Event, that is happening now
Sit back and enjoy
Those who don't know are your crowd


That in itself is exceptionally sad
Why would you leave behind your loved ones
Your mom or your dad
Your sister or brother
Your dead cousin or grandmother
They have no conscious awareness
It was never their fault
It was never their meaning to forever fall
The change of pace is now in your hands
This entire universe is inside you,
Give awareness a chance
Keep guiding yourself towards this lightning bolt feeling
Let it live inside you
Realize what your keeping
To yourself and not sharing
This selfishness will sink
It is absolutely more powerful than you could possibly think
It is the path to aloneness,
but who wants to be alone?
We could all share this peace
Let us connect and hold hands
Give our dark sins the golden control

I notice the group of homeless people I see every morning
However this morning they are fully involved in some sort of drama
I notice how one man puts his arm around the other man
I notice the humanness, the support, the love and care

I notice the woman with the **** on her back
It pushes her fully forward so she can't see the sky
I notice her and her husband walking along by the sea
I notice how he is holding her hand
The sight fills my eyes with tears
I hope they go and drink a coffee and share a slice of carrot cake
I hope he kisses her cheek and tells her he loves her
I imagine a blanket of love enveloping them both

I notice the woman with the gold sandals and bunch of floweres sticking out her bag
I notice her dishevelled hair and clothes
I sense her aloness
Her sandals and floweres make me smile
I hope they make her smile too

The moments of beauty
The human need for love, beauty and support
These moments are all around
Within the sadness and dark realities
They are there
The magic is there

The drizzles, upon our skin, akin to
Crystalline dews streaming down
The window pane. Plane as it is,
Except for some stories told over

A cup of coffee, we remained strangers
In a strange midnight, nameless,
Faceless crowd of aloness. But the
Stolen gaze is a thousand words,

Unspoken yet understood, unheard
Humming in solitude. So we stood in
Silence for there is no better name
For all there is in this moment but

Midnight sun.

Just lend me another cup of creamer
And caffeine, for I have forgotten the
Art of remembering, for all there is has
Become a poetry of your presence.

See,
     Unsee,
      Me:

Alone in a crowd
I pass through without circumstance,
    All the people
I talk to in my mind,
    Their eyes
Pass through me,
Outside me,
Aloneness within me;
  I am the circumstance.

Bymyself I am an architecture
Of peoples,
My mind invents crowds,
In the silence there is
        No silence.
I recover my breath
As I held along the faces
And they echo
Like footsteps in the hall.
    My obscurity
Is a whole world to myself,
    I speak
Without being heard,
Still the audience listens.
    I remember myself
In a sea of souls
And I speak to them all
As I reflect,
     A memory's echo
And I can still see them all;

The afternoon stands still,
     A woman walks by with
Autumn's grace
    And the murmurs of her
Silhouette enchant me,
Alone she has become real.
     The man whom played with
His daughter now evokes a music
In my my mind,
   He carries her in the gentle air.

Aloness is not sorrow,
It is a world in reflection.

Whenever I feel the world against me
I hear your voice inside me
I remember I felt stronger I felt defended

Whenever I could speak my mind
How couldn't I realize that with you
I could have finally been me
I wish I had trust in that Freedom to be
I wish I had known this was real and you were no enemy
I wish I had known
we could have found ways to share our solitude
without choking each other's space
without having to be someone else
without needing anybody else

It's not merely the possible endless questionning
That I loved with you
But the hope to find the answers somehow
together as a real team
You'd gotten my back as I'd gotten yours
We would have been able to get all the pleasure in our mind
only to dive in each question
not just for the answer
but to be in this together

We wanted the same I said many times it was not enough
You were more than enough
Any of other girls would have married you
if they had read my amazing list of the best of you
sure if if they had been able to bear with the worse of you

We would have been able to see deeper
disagreeing with peace mostly for the better
Loving not in spite our differences
but because of them
Knowing we were only at the threshold of this quest
knowing that the Guardian at the Gate might have been reversed for a sign for a pause
But the door was just there
Maybe blocked maybe locked

I miss the simple things
When I did not have to think
I miss being able to make you happy so easily
I miss seeing that special smile
And I never admitted that you were right I couldn't help but twisting things
This is how I am
These are all my doubts
These are all my fears tangling around me
I lied so many times
My fear of Bliss is real
I always comfort myself in aloness
I always thought having equating not wanting anymore
I feared of what was next
When you got the key to your quest
I just could not live
I just could not live
me and my fears of dying

I miss breathing in your neck breathing under your shirt
where I loved to hide myself
I can't describe how much I miss your scent

If I poured it out it won't bother me
I've got nothing to lose
For we is already lost
You've already done your best for me and you given me your worst

But maybe you were just a soulmate
we weaved silver threads to our spirits
You brought me all this learning
You made me feel beyond the yearning
I mean now I could live without this need for loving

I could live loveless if you could just hug the friend in me for eternity

I used to always been in such a state of emergency
With you it was always a question of life and death
I always chose death as a coward
I thought I would never have borne your rejection
God it's insane I am the queen of Drama and the wise Healer
God it's insane I know so many things but never was a keeper
I tried way too much to make you hate me
Oh God it was so easier much easier

Maybe all I needed was time that you freely granted me
As you let me go
And sometimes I wished to be missed
And sometimes I wished to be healed

Maybe this was the most absurd we could have lived
God we did not live a thing
With all this love we did not live a thing
There is no right answers to all of this
I should have let enter freedom and faith
I should have let enter acceptance
I only miss talking to you this was precious
And I made a mess of this bond
Your words your distance can still hurt me
But I only trust that you'd never play me
You would just tell me stop writing to me
Let the Past die and go , live

The compass spins
And the wind blows from all seasons,
We have just been born,
Ageless we are:

In the beginning
Entangled in eternity
Our destiny written on a star
That burned before us,
That lights worlds after us,
Out love cried out to the
Tortured Aloness and closed
The abyss filing eachother.
    
Explode!

The floodgates of my touch
Over your luminous silhouette,
Water and fire collide
Raining embers of eternity,
The present is stilled
And the fountain of reality
Stops as I take your hand;
We are the the precipices
Where sky and earth meet,
Dawn and dusk,
A spherical momentum.

The real love,
A geometric journey
As we invent new places
In eachother,
Echoes in dreams wide awake,
All points from full moons
To quarter suns,
I love you from all points,
Your diaphanous presence,
You are my world.

I will die in the Westside
On some corner with a beer
In my hand, as if holding the lost
Scrolls of Atlantis.
I will die in the Westside-
And I won't be ashamed that
I am a drunken mess and my liver
Has swollen like my heart for
My dear neighborhood.
     It will be a Tuesday,
I will go back and find myself
Within the aloness with all the Yesterdays
Behind me.

Dedpoet is dead. The world beats him,
Although he never fought back;
It beat him hard with a stick....

There will be witnesses,
Nameless and I will not know them,
Only the solitude, the grey, the cold roads.....

I drank in new life
my voice found
cried out simply to be fed
food for my bellies
activity to build my body
knowledge to nourish my mind

The feeding
often sweet
delivered times filled
with wonderful moments
and marvelous people

There were times the flavor
left a bitter taste
a feeling of aloness crept in
a time where I felt nobody cared
whether I was alive or in the grave
backs turned toward me

Depression
such a lonely place
empty of the one most important food
love

There is a natural melancholy
To this season,
The departing leaf
And it's burnt graces
Of a cool wind that chills
The Aloness inside,
   Songs seem to fall away
From birds,
   Here there is hope in
The fleeting moments,
A promise of cold
And the warmth of Winter's
    Insisted grasp.