If I am your crush, then adore me from afar.

Love me throughout the good times and the bad times.

Reminisce our friendship and let it embrace you.

Let it take you to that special place where you can feel alive.


If I am your crush, laugh with me about the stupidest things

Also, laugh at me for being weird. If anything, laugh too much.

Laughter is the best medicine.


If I am your crush, be the girl that I want to adore. Be cute, be adorkable.

And also be clever. Be a dime a dozen. Woo me over until i’m blue in the face.

That isn’t hard to do.


If I am your crush, then lie with me underneath the stars and tell me you love me.

Make me believe it, let those words flow from your mouth and into my soul.

Take me out on dates and if we’re too lazy to go out then we’ll stay home, cuddle and watch movies.

You know, cutesy stuff.


But most importantly, if I am your crush....

Never let me go, because you'll stay right here, in my feeble weakened heart. Not wanting to escape.

The moment you realize
'OH CRAP!
I forgot my glasses,
Since my eye's are horrible
That's fine
My girl said my eyes look,adorable.

I just want to relax and sleep. I want it to be comforting. I'm not exactly anxious but I'm not exactly calm. So what is up with my head.

I don't like my body much. But I don't hate it much. But I also don't know if I'll ever truly enjoy it.

I worry about writing and showing my boyfriend because last one he said was uninteresting. I'm scared of uninteresting. Was it my writing, my words, or me? He almist certainly means nothing malignant by it, but my head is still a recovering paranoia addict and writing is its worry kryptonite.

I worry on and off about my actual writing prowess. I worry more often about finding a new novel to write. If I tell everyone tht writing is like breathing to me, then why aren't I breathing more?

I'm a little stressed about this semester. Not class-load wise, but because of the wearing down in my bones I feel sometimes. I'm just doing so much. All things I love. But so much.

I'm trying not to worry about family stuff. Its not helping me and there's nothing I can really do. Its just hard.

I can see me again. That's something that's good though. In fixing myself I lost the goofy, selfless me that used to be and I am so happy to see her again.

I'm working on my abandoment problem. I think that's why bring alone bothers me so much now. Now that I have people, and I know what its like to feel like I belong, I'm so afraid of being alone and locked up in my head again. But I'm spending more spurts alone to deal with it, and I'm not dead or abandoned yet so something must be working.

I have a gorgeous sleepy boyfriend who sleeps next to me every night. That something that always makes me smile. I may be unique and fun and cute, but it still astounds me this adorkable, brilliant, funny man likes to spend his time with me. Not complaining, but with all the possible brilliant girls he knows he meets, he picks the crazy, writing obsessed dreamer who just happened to stumble upon him. I just can't believe I get to look at his face so much. His face, his mind, all of him, it just... He knocks me out.

Things are complicated. And I'm always weary and always a tad stressed and always busy. But I'm happy too. And I'm not alone; I'm out here, for far longer than just one day. I belong somewhere, and I am loved somewhere. I my still have a thousand miles to go, but I can't believe the thousand I've made it through.

Guess I'm not too shabby, even if I am Grace from Wonderland.

At first we were just Di--
(Two)
But then we became Mono--
(One)
And we started to be Syn--
(Together).
You talk to me like you need me,
kind of like how you need Oxygen, Carbon, Hydrogen, Nitrogen, Calcium, and the other 10 elements in our bodies.
You say that I matter.
Not just because I have mass and I take up space,
but because I'm wonderful...special...adorkable.
I said our bond is like a covalent bond. We just share with one another.
It's not ionic, we don't just give and take.
And you said we're not an H-Bond,
because our bond isn't weak.
I said if we were a reaction,
We'd be a synthesis reaction.
Because we were once separate and
now we've became one. (A + B--->C)
You said that you hope we would never be like a decomposition reaction.
Because they we wouldn't be together. (A--->B + C)
And you also said that this feeling is like combustion, that you just might explode!
I laughed at that, because I don't understand how you feel, and I also cannot tell if it's just a part of these jokes we share or maybe something more.
You say "Maybe" like there is, but
you also say "One day" like I'll know you forever.
I guess it's just up to me to say,
"Who knows, not me."