Shook up inside these walls
The ones I built to never fall
There's chaos in my mind
A darkness left undefined

To catch a glimpse of me
Look into my eyes
I'll never say what's on my mind
Still waters run deeper this time

Cut through my solid walls
Chip through my concrete edges  
Pierce through the cold barrage
Stand taller than all my ledges  

Waves crash all around me
I'm stranded yet unbound
I'm neither here nor there
Never lost nor found

But I'll be yours to figure out.

Have you ever
taken a picture
of a sunset,
just to realize that
you'll never capture
the true
colors,
the intense
emotions,
the full
beauty
of that moment?

Have you ever
taken a picture
of the crescent moon,
only to find that
you'll never catch
the unfolding
mysteries,
the brilliant
light,
the unwavering
loyalty
of that moment?

That's how I feel
when I try to
write poems
about you.

There are so many
lovers walking
the streets

arms over waists and
legs all in sync

where she's holding her books
and he's touching her hair
and the way that their eyes
glow;
they're so unaware

there are so many love-
songs
that live with the sea

they're pushing
they're pulling
they're singing to me

and so many lovers
here,
defying the blues

I'd have a lover
if I only loved
you.

What does one gain
from completing the mundane tasks of daily living?

Laundry
Folding
Cleaning
Food prep

Vacuum
Dusting
Windows
Drain

Choose a color scheme for your home
A point of inspiration
"The History of Interior Design"
Choose your Lifestyle
Color your Path

What's the point?
Cable television
The Nuclear Family
Entertaining
The dodging of Lonelihood

Wouldn't you rather be a dolphin?
Dancing by day
And sexing by night

My furniture is coral
My upholstery is seaweed
Feng Shui by Poseidon's Design

Pulp Fiction.

Thanks for listening, though I'm only writing this because I've assumed you're filtering all my e-mails into your trash. Who can blame you?

I am remembering the time we went to Lost Bar and then walked around my neighborhood for awhile. It was Spring, wasn't it? 2013. It was one of the few times we had fun together after actually going out. I remember that we returned home and as I was walking out onto the patio I said something about how I would probably never get married, because I can't handle the seriousness of forever monogamy and the weight that it carries. The limitations, the non-mystery. Such casual bluntness, unfiltered by my self-proposed life expectations or indirect efforts to keep you around, both of us hoping. Wishing.

I'm slowly realizing that we had a friendship. Somewhere in there, under the jealousy and resentment and the mismatch of our personalities within the confines of cohabitation and romantic expectations. Our breakup was inevitable. But there were parts of us that I'm glad I saw.

My habits are the same.
I hope you are well.

"Right here," [points at heart] "you're dead."
"And right here," [points at head] "you're twisted."
Borderline personality disorder.
A curse.
I am alone, empty, freezing, starving, withering.
I am sorry.
Always sorry.
Sorry to so many.
I am doomed.
I am alone.
I am twisted.
I am desperate.