Whenever I steal a glance at you
No matter how fleeting the image is in my memory
The photographer in me comes to life, trying
Trying to note the focal point of your body
The light source
Shadows, colors, position
blink
The artist in me turns on, and
I secretly trace the outline of your shoulders
I recreate every single strand of your hair
On invisible paper
blink
The poet in me struggles to the surface, attempting
Attempting to describe the texture of the skin
I never touched, the lips I haven't kissed
Wanting to put into words feelings I can't even fathom
blink
All the while, the student in me desperately tries
Not to let the inevitable sigh escape from my lips
In the middle of class
Whenever I steal a glance at you

the problem is
i care
too much
about
not caring

cold feet
selling cars
plates of food I'll never eat

I wish we were friends
I wish we were friends
I wish we were friends

wake up wake up
you don't know me
I try and grow up
but I often dream you know my name

I wish we were friends
we could drive out to the city
you could feed me all the things you love
I could wait for you in the mornings and night

I'm trying to grow up
I'm trying not to hurt myself
but I will if I have to

I know I'm being lied to
I don't want to fight it
but I have to

I wish we were friends
I wish we were friends
I wish we were friends

waking up
another day
you don't know of my existence

I’m still waiting
To fall apart
I thought I did a long time ago
But it turns out
I was just cracked
But now I feel like the cracks are splitting open
And at any moment
I could break
Shatter
Crash

I’m still waiting
For everyone to leave
Finally realizing that I’m not worth anything
I’m at the edge of my seat
Because a few
Have already trickled away
And at any moment
I could break
Shatter
Crash

I’m still waiting
Feeling unready
For everything sure to come
And so I sit and think
About the day
That the ‘at any moment’
Becomes a ‘this moment’
And I break
Shatter
Crash