When you feel far away
I muster up a memory from long ago

The last time I held you or felt your touch
The last time I slept by your side
When you told me “i love you so much”

When I can’t feel you I hold on to what you left
A too big sweatshirt that still smells like you
Is my only comfort

I can’t quite describe the smell
A mix of smoke and fresh laundry transport my mind to images of you
Your smile so big, your eyes sparkling

A naive little girl
believed someone would come to save her

Late nights hiding away in her bedroom
she dreamed of a life far away from here

The movies she watched always had a hero
So where was hers?

I find myself in your gaze

I see all that I can be while you hold my hand

Every touch grants a new vision

Of the life I wish to live

Laying next to you I dream of our future

Every time I lose my footing
I fall down and cry
Just like a little girl, tripping over her own feet.

I am older now but my tears never waver.
They well up in my eyes, I can not hold them back.
My anxieties overwhelm my thoughts
My eyes only see my failures

I am thankful that you watch me
even when I hide my face
You ask me what is wrong
even when I cannot speak

As tears run down my face you hold me close
You tell me you won’t ever let me go

You withstand my storms
and wake me from my nightmares
You listen to me, my fears and all
and calm my frenzied mind

My emotions are unstable.
Although I try so hard to function
I can not always

You told me you love me just how I am
and appreciate every flaw
You tell me I am more than I see
and that you’ll never leave me behind.

Leaves fall onto dirt floors
Autumn winds smell of fresh air and the cold

Thunderstorms rage asking for war
Trees turn bare; naked, yet bold

The skies turn a clear blue that I adore
And the child, not yet grown up, feels old

Your sweatshirt smells of smoke and laundry detergent, just like you