Something about your annoying ***
Always talking to me just because
The boredom was killing
Even on weekend AMs when you should be sleeping
Constantly asking when & where
Going to Rite Aid so I could meet you there
You bring a new meaning to "based"
For ****'s sake, it's written on your face
And in the way that you dress-
A well put together, mismatched mess
But I have your clothes with me sometimes
The smell of you gets my heart high
I stole your white gold chain
And wore it doubled to school today
Remember when you said I should **** with you
Because you do you and that made me want to

I wish I didn't miss you
should've never kissed you
the new me wouldn't have responded
to "girl, what that **** do?"
I guess it was something about the twists in your hairdo
and now my legs and elbows are cold
the fact that I noticed reminds me
of how you told me I was old
told me I was a "***"
kept coming just to go
even when things were fine/okay
I still felt alone
no matter how many times we lit one and smoked
and when we'd lie together
I'd be sure not to roll over
for the distance you would surely note

I like how you took it slow
and waited for about two months,
even though you were soon to go.

Together we were chill,
because you are a man
and drama makes me ill.

I think we were perfect,
but the miles were far.
Maybe if the timing was different...

I only have two questions,
two things I don't understand:
Why did we start this? Why did it end?

I grew up when I realized that love is a decision
not an emotion
When I saw how toxic love
was leaving me heartbroken
& I wondered why only part of me was left
but my ability to love freely was stolen
Age had nothing to do with the come up
it was when I was all alone with my thoughts til the sun came up
sleepless nights & the struggle of being lonely
had me learn who I was
til I knew I was all of me

You make me cry.
You made me crazy inside.
The way you care makes me wonder why.
My heart is in pain,
Not to mention this headache
From your name on my brain.
Suddenly, we had died
Without so much as a goodbye,
And it wasn't together, like I'd always mind's-eyed.
If I had known I was seeing you for very last time,
I would have never left your side.
You were and secretly still are mine,
Because I won't let go- I will live this lie:
That you plus I means something to the outside.
I made you promise to come back even if the years were five,
Because I won't say goodbye
To the burning fire
In the heart of this child.

"Do you ever feel like you're about to die?"
"Like a car crash?" she asks.
But that's not what I mean at all.

What I mean, is when you're so in love with someone who might hate you.
You never get to see them,
but when you do it's with a bunch of other people
whose only interest is to make noise.
And so you think about Someone,
never talking to or about him,
which makes you think that love is a figment of your imagination
or a word you don't understand.
I go back and forth between
"everything is science" and "everything is emotion."
So sometimes, when the love hurts especially bad,
I think it has to be the kind of emotion that can't be explained with science.
In which case, I'm probably mentally ill.
What part of me is holding the love?
It's not my actual heart.
Not my brain.
Not my hands.
That must mean the only part of me that isn't scientific is that unearthly thing that contains love for Someone.
This thing makes me cry real human tears
and when I hit the wall with my closed fist that is not holding love but empty air,
it produces physical pain.
But there is something else this thing holds:
the feeling that I'm about to die.

"Yeah, like a car crash," I nod in agreement.

numerous things to say to you in my head
yet i can't seem to find the strength
to lift myself up out of bed
i'm emotionally
drained of energy
i feel like the bomb ticking
moved from my heart to my head
all i wanted from the start was you and an us
but apparently i'm just too far above
the standards you have
cuz it's to her you went back
now i see where we stand
and i don't stand a chance
cuz you won't take a chance
at what could actually last
and now we can't go back
bet you're having a blast
with that ***** from the past
i know she's giving you ***
sorry that i am better than that

This poetry is a work in progress.
This relationship is  a work in progress.
Our love for each other
Has not completed process.
But at least we know it's there
And that this isn't totally worthless.
"You won't be together."
"He'll find someone who's heart is in better shape than yours
And who's soul is dauntless."
"He'll move on without you
While you're here haunted."
But I'm the kind of person who doesn't give a **** if
He's married in another state
With those things they call quadruplets,
Because my heart will still belong to him,
For it's forever bonded
To him who is my first real love,
Even if it's obnoxious.

i go through the back door
laughing and crying
dont talk so problems stayed ignored
they took my key
you left and now
im bout to be back on the streets
theres always something someone wants
when i fail to deliver
im an option, not the one
fountain of youth
levels lay low
sympathy misused, abused
thought my heart was broke
but i still feel everyones everythings
without trying i get your deepests evoked

one day i want to be happy
that day is today
that day is every day
but i cry just as much as if i had a reason to
and no matter how many "right directions"
i seem to follow
there is still warm water coming from my eyes
as soon as they dry
it rains again
they typecast me as insert stereotype here
fighting against everyone is difficult
when they all make so many rules
and you cant see because your eyes still havent dried again
i guess paper will know that i will never be happy
but they will never hear those words in my voice
because they are not worthy
i still want to be happy one day

left a bad ***** for an ew one
but looks aside
guess it doesn't matter none
she's got nothing on me
including personality
all she ever had was a disease and a baby
but ****, i hope you're happy
although i don't see how you could be
cuz i know you have a conscious
i have a list in my head of your wrongness
the fact that you went back to disaster
makes me wonder if i was even all that
aftermath: i have a lot of wrath
then there's you trying to turn it around
like i didn't wanna hold you down
all the noise i made about it
and you never even heard a sound

I hate poems that rhyme
I mean, who has the time
To sit in a chair
With a blank, bored stare
In the middle of class
That's torturing the mass

Q: Have you ever had the pleasure of a peace of quiet?

A quiet so loud that your mind goes from a euphoric and blissful silence to a resounding, deafening, and screaming black-out of sound. The quiet being the only matter in existence that your mind is filled with nothing else. It consumes you from the inside out and forces you to drown in it. A quiet that that takes away everything tangible and sensory. You have no air to breathe or taste, no color to see, no ground to feel beneath your feet. You begin to think that the quiet is all of the things it is blocking out- it thumps in your ears, giving you a headache; it blinds you with flashes of light; it chokes you; it fills your mouth with an unpleasantly tangy, salty, and bitter taste.

(But it is actually doing none of this. In fact, these “symptoms” are created by yourself in an attempt to recover everything that was before silence.)

A: Me neither.

can't believe it happened again
got my heart broken
for letting someone else in
better off living alone in my life of sin

to trust anyone but myself
is hopeless
the only result is
my heart and it's holiness

I’m unsure of the future.
I don’t know why because it’s set in stone.
Maybe it’s because I’m looking for a way out.
There has to be another way for us to make this work.
I’m keeping all this to myself because,
While you don’t seem content with the future,
You seem to have accepted it.

I don’t want to upset the boat.

We’re floating.

There’s only so much time.
It should be kept unspoiled.
I secretly hope you’re looking for a way out also.
I want to tell you, but not too soon.
Where is the balance of time?
How do I know when is too soon or too late?
We've only just begun,
And I get attached quickly and easily.
So maybe I’ll wait a little longer for you,
Even though you might be here already.

Don’t rock the boat, Naomi.


Maybe I’ll go with you…..

*Drowns

the people who dont know me
know the most about me
things i wasnt even aware of
they have not even heard the sound of my voice
yet have every last detail on my ****** encounters
to me they are irrelevant by default
however i am the most exciting cyber encounter theyve had
while i am sipping, sighing, smoking, swearing
they stalk, search, sift, and stare

We've never had much
Not time together (-1)
Or the promise of forever (-1)

Don’t need to be pessimist
Anyone can see
The ***** glass we share is half empty

When I try to count
Things add up weird
There are mostly negatives here

Why do we do this
When there’s hardly a reason? (-1)
It’s just another one of life’s seasons (-1)

We can’t control what happens (-1)
You’re going to be leaving (-1)
At that certain time that’s coming

When the time is here
These feeling will **** (-1)
Love’s flying towards me (but I’m trying to duck) (-1)

I never want to feel it
Or say those three words
Because then things will be worse

What the **** is this?
It’s really quite stupid (-1)
That we both agreed to go through this