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In distress
Not doing very well
Panicky feeling
Fear of my father's death

Rain on the window
Memories of Taipei
Try to calm myself
Quiet breath
pictures of us
the poetry books
all his clothes
the ties off the hooks

I have burned
the soles of my feet
pacing the floors
the sauce on the stove
letters in drawers

I have burned
a hole in the carpet
from an unlit cigarette
like the one in my nightie
waking up in cold sweat

I have burned
the palm of my hand
spilling the tea
but I cannot burn
this haunting memory
The sun has come up,
Behind well watered trees

With that bright yellow
warm that it brings

I look outside my window,
From the opened blinds

That I leave for my cats to look
Out into the world

And sunbathe in pure light
While waiting for squirrels

A glimpse of peace flows
into me and out of me

I won’t remember this moment,
Insignificant as it is

It still means that I am here,
On a sunny morning

Where I don’t have to work,
Or do chores

The mountains are still
Wearing the horizon

The rivers are still
Marching down their backs

February is rolling
Around the corner

After that the wind
Will sing in March

I’m no longer sure
What’s important

All I know is that
This peace won’t last.
One more chalice of amber
Encrusted with hopes and dreams.
One more sip from the cup of life
To ground what we believe.

One more breath of neon vapor
That lifts us from our knees,
Frees the wrists of shackles
And clears the way to see.

Repeat,

Ad nauseam,

Until the truth is found.
In the depths of depravity
Satori abounds.
A glimpse of nirvana
And all that was lost is found.

For now,

But as the amber nectar turns bitter
The smoke is powdered on our lungs.
The vapor has all gone while
We hiss our words in tongues.
But in the morning when all is said and done
You awake to true satori,
The road to understanding has only just begun.
It's a slippery *****,
I hope you know.
Said the Solipsist
To The Fly.

Who was itself
A somewhat suspicious
Deliciously conspicuous,
Most likely maleficent,
Manifestation of a mind.

A specimen meant just to define,
A shade that shall not live,
A shadow that shall not fly.
Designed to be a metaphor,
To make its point and then to die.

Invested only to be digested
By imagination and an eye.
Where within it lingers lonely,
Solely stoic for a while,
For a time.
A casualty of entropy
Out of place,
Left behind.
Or maybe out in front,
Depending on your point of view,
However long thought takes to stew.

The Fly nodded sagely,
Behaved as if it knew.
Nonchalant with confidence,
The epitome of cool.
Giving all the right impressions
These digressions were understood.
As it landed ever closer
To sit upon the madman's shoulder
To show this silly, pseudo ******
How little he really knew.

That being said,
If all that is lives only in your head.
Could I trouble you for some of that stew?
I miss her
like ink misses the page
when i can't seem to think
of the right words to say .

I love her like the heavens,
and to the moon I pray,
the only wish I ever have,
that every shooting star could stay .

If there is a god of love,
how could one create
this old heart of mine
just to feel it break

...
.. going to keep working on this I think. I like one or two lines in there.
 Jan 26 vircapio gale
Ally
I rise to greet the dawn

distracting my heart

I take a sip of dark roast

and exhale

today I will

just breathe
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