why do i keep on waking up
next to you
with our bodies intertwined
we're not together anymore
you fiddled with my heart
and went back
to you first love
while i'm drowning my sorrows
in alcohol most nights
which i haven't done
since i met you

don't sleep anymore
feeling on top of the world
no one can stop me now
can go hours on end
of thoughtless talks
constantly moving
legs bumping up and down
up and down
biting my nails
gritting my teeth
irritated
impulsive
indecisive
happy as all hell
but it will not last
i can bet you that

i overdosed that night
i took a blade to my wrists
all because of you

i look back and think
how foolish of me
i wanted to die
because you left me broken
i physically felt as though
you took my heart
straight out of my chest

thank god im alive today
how silly would it be my soul was no longer here
all because you left

i've learned my lesson
don't get too emotionally invested in another person

never again will i depend on another soul
to fix me

the only ******* reason it hurts
is because it was real
what we had was real
and don't you deny that

you can't take back those words
you ever spoke to me
they're embedded in my mind

you can't take back the days
where you held me
when the world seemed too cruel to bare

and all i wanted to do was
take a bottle of pills
and let the blood flow from my wrists

but where are you now?