Searching for you


I took a train to Indiana
and ended up in New Orleans
(Yes,) I took a train to Indiana
but ended up in new Orleans

Met a Girl in New York City
she was all over me
Met a Girl in New York City
and took her back home with me

Now Lucy from Havana
Mary from Bronx
Lesly smoking MJ's
tells me what she want's ..
(I do it right)

I took a plane to Indiana
ended up in New Orleans.
Yes, I took a plane to Indiana
and ended up in new Orleans

Now someone please help me
and show what to do
I need a little something
and sister im looking at you

Met a Girl from New York City
she was all over me
Met a Girl from New York City
and took her back home with me

I took a train to Indiana
and ended up in New Orleans
(Yes,) I took a train to Indiana
but ended up in new Orleans

Now Lucy from Havana
Mary from Bronx
Lesly smoking MJ's
tells me what she want's ..
(I do it right sister)

fade ...

took a train to Indiana
and ended up in New Orleans
(Yes,) I took a train to Indiana
but ended up in new Orleans

fade ...

Can’t help but think
you spit too much
and every word
is not ****.
And the world
is brimming with girls
that are not so hot.
(Get over it dude.)
And beer is strong,
and **** is too.
And waking up in *****
aint cool so
(and I beat you a pool too)
Being a man
takes more than fighting and *******
and stories of fishing.

So you take a leak.
I  light a cigar.
And the hot girl winks you
from behind the bar
and then
I realise now - the haunting truth
What i miss the most
Is my youth.

You know when the sun shines through the garden window
And you are set there near me and the bright light vibrates the
atoms of your tights – I feel delight.

When in bed and my bodies useless but for sleeping,
and no good even for talking
And you wrapped those arms around me
and I feel your heart beating
And this extra treat – sure feels like a delight.

And when the Universe is out to play
And still as rock we lay,
between the graves
Just to see the view – me next to you
And one day
the world will pass this way.

Oh Maisie:
Your magic and my delight!
whish the sun would be,
and it would be tonight.

And the flowers I will bring you,
the jewels and the gems,
the Silver and gold,
A world without end.

Dear Robert:
You’re lost at sea, I can see:
You’re love comes from lust
And not from me.

Love is not lust.
And is nothing to me:
Love is my need
When you sleep with me.

So Maisie
Oh maybe, I read you so wrong!
Last night you cried
when I sung you that song
Cowboys and treasures,
a measure of love:
The words from the stars
From the heavens above

Oh Robert,
Dear Robert, the news is this:
A chance to touch, feel and
Caress - would be bliss.
Undress me and taste me,
the syrup of love.
The sweetness, completeness,
Is more than you deserve

See you tonight.

Drunk

NYC, 7 Ave, 1 Jan.
Barkeep: “You and her, get the hell out!”

    ~ x ~
    
So drunk you say,
as we lean in together
in the door way,
to escape this lousy wind.
    
So the police pass
and you *** on the floor
and laugh
while I eat your food.

And so we leave
holding hands and
like lovers we kiss,
(while the bus waits).

We ride the streets
to your home.
And I remove your clothes
Rub your feet,
kiss your cheek.

And the promise
Never came.
Was never asked for
(Too old to *****)
Besides a loving hold
in your arms
makes a soul
a better place.

What I can’t imagine is what it would be like to be with you alone
for just, say, one night?

and in holding your hand and taking a kiss from those talk filled lips (what would it be like)?

And just for a second you exist like the petrichor perfume that turns to window mist after a while of summer rain.

But beneath your dripping wet hair I lie still and stare up
to you and wonder why I can’t be there

So I wait in the square and write your name and say something like
I hope to see you again.

Tuesday,
drunk!
Called you.
(No Answer!)
Hello?
I love you.

Desire.
was, after all, the kind knife
That I used to cut you out
From your life And stick you in mine.
and
Was all I needed to take you away
To hotels and rooms only for lovers
With Secrets like ours
And
Fantasy
Tied you in ropes and allowed
Me the vicious satisfaction of quenched need.
but
Love, was never needed,
Nor wanted, while I lay apon
The beats of your breaking heart
But
It was always running down.
Allowing time in was our mistake.
Matrimony
Called you home to your husband and left me alone
Now, shivering and tangled
Low and lonely in a pension
near Vienna.

Warby’s brother died.
While he cycled like a madman
and fell down Smiths hill.
He lay dead on the cold tar,
as the light of the day
faded over his head.

Jen said the man from the car
cried,
and,
shouted at the same time,
(while dusty blood ran around his shoes.)

No ambulance came, no need.
The evening knew.
And so,
at that moment,
frost began and so did snow.

Remember:
The wrinkled cheeks of your
neighbours big head,
stuck in our window.
As she told us all, in silence,
bad news like a song.

Life was hard.
we were all untouched
and continued eating, checking phones,
not thinking much,

Harry warby, 18, now boxed.
He washed the blood and bones
From the floor of the butcher’s shop
gave us cigarettes in the black night
While we shivered in gangs around the streets

We never knew the name of the Man
The Man in the car, so silent in the church.
His shaking hands out of reach of the bible
We were not there we stood outside in the chill
Everyone knew a child had died.
Cars waited, mothers stopped, and
The sky looked like it wanted to snow.
I remember.

Kicking  our way over dog **** grass
And broken glass and the rotten
Litter of poverty we wait in silence
For our time to live and escape the estate.

The men, mostly wrapped in grey,
With knitted necks have nothing to say.
But sway out of the way of the others, passing.

Over there, on six, a man is checking
No one is asking, but he’s still looking.
His finger’s pointing.

Beside me, a beautiful lady, is waiting
Speaking softly to her lover:
“Not long now” – she whispers’, lower.

With late night morning upon our faces
We wonder why, we are here at all
Collecting colds, old age, and wages:
Before middle, old, and then the fall.

And then the sun appears:
It lights the seats where no one sits
I feel my heart beat miss a bit.
I see myself years ago.
Waiting for a train to go.
To take our family away, for free
For fish, chips, salt and sea.

All of us all, sitting there:
Our fathers 1950’s hair,
Our sixties mother thin lipped stare,
my sisters, bothers, and me, just sat there.

Frozen cold, with tears sticking in my eyes.
And for a moment I want back that time.
To start again, at another me:
No more trains - but more sea.

Thats a sad look in your dark eye
Theres a glance that I don’t see
As you take off your pink dress
And slowly undress me.

Thats cigarette ash on your small breast
Thats lipstick on your wine glass
And the sunshine in the window
means its time to leave.

Thats goodbye on my cellphone
Those are tears on my tissue
And the words are a church hymn
Not a song to sing.

You will forgot me, that I promise
While i wait here at the bus stop
And count the coins you gave me
when you wanted me to go.

And so your husband knows all-about-me
And so, what about it!
I thought that you loved me
You told me many times.

So now, so cold, its over
Last words said and I
Delete your number
And don’t say goodbye.

*******!
She took my smokes!
Were the hec is that wine?
White trash: thats what she is
Lying there, stinking like old perfume.
Brush your teeth,
(At least once this year.)
Gimme that remote,
**** tv is mine anyways
Move over, shift, away.
Take your trash
Ok, leave if you wanna..

But

You laugh at night
As you **** in the smoke
And you ride me like no one has
And you like the TV on
While we *****
And you like spirit drinks
and I feel like lightening when
you strike
and I cant wait till Friday
when you arrive.

So

Thats what I think
And so yes – ok – I love you.

***** people: us and them
Slippery, dark and warm, like *** lips, kissed on midnight beaches.

She weighed less than air.
Smells like wet blossom.
No kissing, only you can touch.

Hard dollars in my hard. Harder now.

Door closed. Back out, I don’t look at the others, they know of course.
I washed my skin and look at me in the mirror. Funny how old you can get.