Could have been a masterpiece,
Could have been eye-opening,
a breath of fresh air.

Endless possiblities.

Could have been coloured and fiery,
Could have been subtle and graceful,
the result of years of perfection.

Endless possiblities.

Could have been all,
Like an empty canvas I was born as.
But I have been me.

The canvas is stained
tainted
spoiled

The canvas is stained forevermore.

I know I can sulk,
as much as
I want to
as much as
I can.

So I do.

Nothing changes

It's the same pretty mistake I do,
Intentionally, foolishly.
I might wait a different outcome,
I might not think at all.
Over and over.

So I do.

Nothing changes

I know I can scream,
as helpless as
I want to
as helpless as
I can

as helpless as I am

So I don't.

Nothing changes.

It's always the same outcome
that life serves me with a grin.

It could be you, right?
No
I can only wish.

My tears aren't going to wipe themselves,
That's why,
That's why my fingers know all to well
where cheeks are.
But it's my throat
where they find themselves.

After all, I'm the girl
who pats her own back.

It could be you, right?
No
I can only wish.

After all, I'm the girl
who writes poems for herself.

Years ago
I made a wish

I used to say
"I'd rather feel everything than emptiness."

And it came true
Out of the thousands of wishes
It was the choosen one

It was my doom.
I became my own doom.

Sorry,
Have we ever met before?

I thought so,
Thank you for your time.

I've heard that voice before
At least, I think so

Faces
They seem familiar
Yet they are not
Imagination creates wonders
A family, friends
Happy memories...

The happy little world
That inside my crooked little head,
A simple lie
A bittersweer deception
Darker than the depths of the ocean
Created by the Devil himself

O Lucifer,
What wrong have I done to you?
Is torture a part of your affection?
If so,
Keep going
Push my head into the sweetest lies
Then pull me back to wretched reality
Maybe one day
One day I'll learn
How to make lies true

O Lucifer
Bless me with your deception
Thus I can be you
Destroy you
And me
A perfect final

Revenge is sweeter than your lies.

Not too far
If I stand up on tiptoes
And strech my arms out
I can feel it at my fingertips
Like fireworks
Or shooting stars
No, it is emptiness
Do
I
Really
Feel?
Who made me "me"?
Could "I" ever be someone else?
Do I really feel?
No, not at all.
It's only emptiness
Not fireworks, not shooting stars
They are high above
And I roll in a pit
Covered with mud
If I even dare to look above...
It's only a dream
Do
I
Really
Feel?