When you know in your mind that there is someone so much more desirable for you but your heart is there to send the memories back to the same mind of the chaotic bittersweet love he once gave you.

Energy,
Here it is not.
I struggle to
Keep my eyelids from touching,
And to focus on the information around me.
I am the old cat
Who can't remember
That it's in the process of being fed.
Read the same sentence again
And again.
I only feel awake when the
Moon and stars are high,
While the world around me buzzes
My eyes cross and blur.

Tears taste so much like you.

The anger I feel towards him
makes me so hot I can't lay underneath
my blankets.
Of course I'm alone,
and he hasn't even noticed I drifted off
to bed because I can't stand to
sit there and watch him kick his
shoe around on my carpet any longer.
If you don't want to be here, then don't.
If you don't want to be with me,
then don't.
I don't deserve to be treated like this.
Do I?

If at first
you despise it
Give it time
Before you know it
You'll love it
It gets easier
After the first time
Soon you'll be a pro
So don't worry
It's just
An acquired taste.

In the bottom bunk,
Thinking of all the ****** things I've said to people while they were sad.
I was trying to make them feel less lonely, but "everyone feels like that sometimes" is hardly helpful and it just puts down the fact that they're feeling at all.
I wish I wouldn't talk sometimes, or
I wish I didn't grow up believing that everyone feels everything because I am constantly feeling so much
but not everyone does.
And believing that everyone feels doesn't help the feeling.

Next time anyone or myself is sad,
I will not minuscule it by involving it with everyone.