I might be ******* if you ever find all of my poetry about you.

I was the one you were never
supposed to let go.
I was the one who really ever
cared.
I was there for you whenever
you needed someone

One swift move of the hand and I
am stabbed in the back
Torn and ripping at each seam of my skin
Trying to understand what it is
you really think I did wrong.

I was left here apart
I still care
And as terrible as it is
I would still be there for you

How could I possibly want to restitch this wound
The now seamless free skin
Still hurt but trying to heal with each time
I feel the knife again

You have no idea what you once were to me
I can't believe I actually thought
you cared about me.
Now I realize that you were never there
when I needed someone.

In the midst of this pain, at least I have someone permanent to heal me as you replace what once healed you time after time.

Why is it that winter
portrays darkness, a death upon the Earth?
Sorrow, Mourning, and Melancholy
But if only we could see

Microscopic are these flakes that fall
so gently and not one of them alike
You catch one in your hand
delicate, it melts

Is that what leaves you feeling sad?
Just think, together each of these snowflakes
Blanket the earth and caress branches of trees that have no leaves left to bare;
they sink into the earth and into our bones

Is that what leaves your feelings cold?
Looking out our warm houses we see the sparkling white
We hear not but a sound
All is at peace. It is silent.

Is that what leaves you lonely?
This desolate, lovely new place the earth has been crested with
Soft but cold to the touch, beautiful but vacant
Distinct snowflakes to blame.

What feeling are you left with then?

You always do.
When could I ever get the chance
I'm not allowed to worry about you.
All I want to do.
But I guess that's not right
Letting me take care of you.

I can't seem to sleep anymore
It's because of you
You know that
I imagine the shape  
Of your body beside mine
Warming and unexplainable
The way it feels as I lay
Curled up beside you
But not really.
I'm alone with the empty shape
Of your body beside mine
Cold and explainable
The way it feels as I lay
Because I'm curled up, not beside you
I'm sleeping without you
and I can't seem to sleep anymore.

To go away with you just one day
just one day.
That's all I ask
To have you
and you and only you
To hear your laugh and listen to your thoughts
Be together only us
And go back
Fall on a bed and just sleep
That's all I ask.