oh  i am meant to die soon   i see nothing  for my future

"i swear shes not replacing you. she was just there for me when you had your online relationships"



no. she's replacing me.

she's replacing all of us.


you're just letting it happen.


i'll find someone else since it seems like you don't need me anymore.

i think it will be okay if i die soon

okay i’m tired of being treated like the dirt on your shoe but you don’t get it because you think you’re the best ever in the world

ill never love another like you

until my ***** bursts  i

you take away everything that makes me happy

if i die then i won’t have to deal with all of this hullshit and pain and stupidity and eveufjjgn i need to be gone now!!!!!!!!! then they will all realize they ****** up and are stupid

i’ve always known that you never loved me

i just don’t know why it hurts so much now

i make everything for them just to get nothing

you are my worst ******* nightmare i   remember everything you did every time i am alone  i  can never forget what you did to Me   but to you   i am nothing  but a liar   and a horrible person    Maybe think about what You   did to me   for years   and allowed others to do    Remember your body shaming   and manipulation    and general abusive behavior but  Oh  Oh!!  you   are always the ******* victim

i am unable to be loved
for i am damaged goods
too far gone to repair

let me **** myself already

i’m not worth it

WHY IS IT SO HARD FOR MY PARENTS TO CARE ABOUT ME

help me
he’s gonna ******* **** me because he had to share a drink with me

he’s making fun of me

i’m

i’m gonna ******* **** myself soon

i just wrote 5-6 suicide notes to people and im not done yet

why don’t i do you a favour?
i’ll ******* **** myself for you,
now wouldn’t that be easier?
you don’t have to yell at a ******* like me anymore :)

you constantly threaten to beat me and i so wish you do and put me out of my misery

it doesn’t feel right to be in this female body.

i want to be a boy now.

my new name is evan.

i could become an eboy

they seem nice

with every word
you shatter my heart
and again
i feel like i am nothing.

digesting food has never been harder

i’ve been slowly killing myself for two years and no one has stopped me.


n o
o n e

i slam my head against walls, doors, anything that’s hard hoping for my brain to collect too much pressure so i can D I E

what does it feel like to love?
do i love him?
or do i love her?
i don’t know.

i heard he likes me;
but what does that mean?
does he enjoy my presence?
am i fun around him?
do i make him happy?

he used to like my best friend though,
we joke around, saying
“oh he has a thing for orchestra girls”

unfortunately, i can’t say i like him back;
but i also can’t say that i don’t like him.
because i simply do not feel such a thing.

i heard that if you want to spend time with a certain person,
for the rest of your life, you love them.
if i want to spend the rest of my life with one person,
to do amazing things like,
travel the world,
overcome all our fears,
and so on,

it would be nobody.

im not your perfect ***** <3

owo

everything about us was a game you liked to play,


and i hope you had fun, playing that game


that hurt everyone.

when i “hit” him,
you say,
“if you touch him again i’ll ******* hurt you”

when he HITS me,
giving me bruises,
giving me cuts,
making me cry,
you.

you
do
not
do
anything.

:)

red, pink, and white
cheap or expensive gifts
from friends, family, or loved ones.
some people are sad if they don’t
receive one from anyone they know.
a holiday celebrating couples,
what about the single people?
what would happen if
you weren’t loved?
what would happen?
valentine’s day originated
from women getting sold
in a town square
and hit and whipped
after being bought.

inhale

exhale

nicotine chemicals ruin your brain.

whats so enjoyable about it?

maybe ill try it out someday.

i want to go home


am i invisible? yes








i’ll leave you two alone.


you’re happy.



that’s all that matters

my mouth tastes sour and disgusting

i haven’t thrown up in a while

sometimes when i write
it feels like im screaming

screaming into a void.

where no one can help me,

maybe ill suffer on my own

watch me c
                      r
                          u
                              m
                                    b
                                         l
                                            e

surely,

i’ll break soon.

Inactive,
Offline,
I stay away,
From those behind,
Computers,
Phones,
Tablets,
Anything
that has access
to this website.

"welcome back"
They say,

I have come back,
to write more,
and read more.

Bye.
I'm off to therapy now.

yet im not growing.

well if you’re gonna act that way,

reduce reuse recycle *****

you wouldn't care!

who am i kidding?

you wouldn't.

haha

"youre swaggy, so lets stay friends."

"okay, i love you so much"


blocked.


******* BLOCKED.

there's not point in saying let's be friends if you're just gonna cut me off.

i thought my mom and my happiness was enough, turns out you want more

whats a moon-

i've almost sobbed myself to sleep,


i watched,


listened.




"****, why can't someone love me like that"



even your mom asked if i felt like i was being left out,



i wanted to have a smile and say no,


but i just nodded silently.




im scared of your brother asking if we're friends anymore but,


are we?

of all things
why me
why is everyone
trusting me
So many people believe in me
but in doing that there is no hope
encouraging things
feel like 28 stab wounds