with every word
you shatter my heart
and again
i feel like i am nothing.

every day i am reminded of how unwanted i am

how much i deserve nothing

how i am nothing

how i will never be good enough

why don’t i do you a favour?
i’ll ******* **** myself for you,
now wouldn’t that be easier?
you don’t have to yell at a ******* like me anymore :)

"i loved you"
to me?

"love you"
to her



i-

i might cry?

i ******* knew it

why is it such a surprise

you dont love me!

just please shut the **** up.

you're so ******* annoying

you call me names

you give me bruises


isnt that illegal?

you *****

why would you tell me?!
i know ****

why the hell would you tell me anything

your life is with them

only them

im nothing now

im nothing ****

you dont ******* care.

i mean
youd rather love her.

cause yknow.
you ******* love her

"ill always love you"
"ill never leave you"
"love you babe"

*******.
liar.
you dont.
dont lie to me.

please,
dont lie to me.

i know you love her

leave me behind.

i dare you

leave me.
leave.
now.

i know you dont care

so just stop it..

i know youd rather date her

i know

i know

i know.

bye
.
.
.
.

BYE..

i-

you dont love me

nevermind.

sorry.
im so sorry.
im sorry.
im so sorry.
so.
so.
sorry.

WHY IS IT SO HARD FOR MY PARENTS TO CARE ABOUT ME

my heart aches because inside i know i don’t love you the same because i am treated poorly

okay haha okay so okay um okay sooo haha okay lol

the feeling of the blade in my hand was too familiar

i’ve been slowly killing myself for two years and no one has stopped me.


n o
o n e

i slam my head against walls, doors, anything that’s hard hoping for my brain to collect too much pressure so i can D I E

ill never love another like you

bye.

“i’ll beat you until you get above average”

when is it an appropriate time to die? i am so done with this.

if i die then i won’t have to deal with all of this hullshit and pain and stupidity and eveufjjgn i need to be gone now!!!!!!!!! then they will all realize they ****** up and are stupid

i feel like a piece of shattered glass clinging together with tape

for some reason, everything is always my fault.
you ruin everything, you make me have to apologize to parents because you can’t control yourself, you take all of my things, you curse and say slurs, you bully and belittle me and others,

but for some reason,
it’s my fault.

it’s my fault that you cursed in front of my student, it’s my fault that you bully me, it’s my fault that you take all of my things, it’s all my fault.

but

i didn’t even do anything.

you do all of these things

yet  i am the only who gets yelled at and punished.

you are my worst ******* nightmare i   remember everything you did every time i am alone  i  can never forget what you did to Me   but to you   i am nothing  but a liar   and a horrible person    Maybe think about what You   did to me   for years   and allowed others to do    Remember your body shaming   and manipulation    and general abusive behavior but  Oh  Oh!!  you   are always the ******* victim

i wish i could rip out all of my organs and die truly empty

you constantly threaten to beat me and i so wish you do and put me out of my misery

everything about us was a game you liked to play,


and i hope you had fun, playing that game


that hurt everyone.

:)

when i “hit” him,
you say,
“if you touch him again i’ll ******* hurt you”

when he HITS me,
giving me bruises,
giving me cuts,
making me cry,
you.

you
do
not
do
anything.

red, pink, and white
cheap or expensive gifts
from friends, family, or loved ones.
some people are sad if they don’t
receive one from anyone they know.
a holiday celebrating couples,
what about the single people?
what would happen if
you weren’t loved?
what would happen?
valentine’s day originated
from women getting sold
in a town square
and hit and whipped
after being bought.

inhale

exhale

nicotine chemicals ruin your brain.

whats so enjoyable about it?

maybe ill try it out someday.

i want to go home


am i invisible? yes








i’ll leave you two alone.


you’re happy.



that’s all that matters

my mouth tastes sour and disgusting

i haven’t thrown up in a while

sometimes when i write
it feels like im screaming

screaming into a void.

where no one can help me,

maybe ill suffer on my own

watch me c
                      r
                          u
                              m
                                    b
                                         l
                                            e

surely,

i’ll break soon.

Inactive,
Offline,
I stay away,
From those behind,
Computers,
Phones,
Tablets,
Anything
that has access
to this website.

"welcome back"
They say,

I have come back,
to write more,
and read more.

Bye.
I'm off to therapy now.

yet im not growing.

well if you’re gonna act that way,

reduce reuse recycle *****

you wouldn't care!

who am i kidding?

you wouldn't.

haha

"youre swaggy, so lets stay friends."

"okay, i love you so much"


blocked.


******* BLOCKED.

there's not point in saying let's be friends if you're just gonna cut me off.

i thought my mom and my happiness was enough, turns out you want more

whats a moon-

i've almost sobbed myself to sleep,


i watched,


listened.




"****, why can't someone love me like that"



even your mom asked if i felt like i was being left out,



i wanted to have a smile and say no,


but i just nodded silently.




im scared of your brother asking if we're friends anymore but,


are we?

of all things
why me
why is everyone
trusting me
So many people believe in me
but in doing that there is no hope
encouraging things
feel like 28 stab wounds

is what i would say if you actually gave a **** about me for once