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Vanessa Dec 2016
“Well the panic attacks that I have keep happening more often, so I went to a doctor. She thinks

I have severe anxiety / depression. All I want to do is see the guy that I’m talking to but he is

always busy. All I do is think about him. I’m Pathetic. I want to go to bed and never get up.”

“I literally just don’t care about anything anymore.”

“I’ve spent almost the whole day in bed”

“I didn’t even do it for myself”

“Laying in bed and dying”

“Sorry I was asleep”

“I don’t have the energy for life.”

“I’ve been trying to get up for two hours.”

“Every time I try my mind is like what’s the point”

“I feel so ****** I’m literally laying here trying to make the suicidal thoughts stop”

“No it’s because she doesn’t get what I’m going through and thinks it’s about her”

“I’m thinking about calling my mother…….thats how bad I feel lol”

“And queue my downward spiral”

“It still hurts”

“Everyone is afraid of me”

“**** me”
“I’ve slept all day”

“Having a panic attack in class”

“I’ve been suicidal all day”

“I will be worse if I don’t have him”

“I can’t get past him until I have someone else”

“I am looking for someone else, but people are afraid of me”

“I want to die”

“No u don’t”

“Ohhhhh but I do”

“He is probably living life not even thinking about me”

“Everyone is getting cancer and dying”

“Let’s just end it now before there is more pain”

“I’m anxious”

“Where are you”

“I’m dying”

“Vanessa”

“I’m dying”
  Aug 2015 Vanessa
strawberry fields
while getting high:
I
imagined my heart
blooming inside out
Vanessa Aug 2015
I-AM-NOT-A-DOG.
Today,
I cut loose from your leash of degrading comments.
My ears have learned to ignore your whistles
and the only thing I am going to fetch
is my dignity.

We all have cracks.
People’s words creep into our most foreign parts
And bother us like gnats in our food.
However,
At a young age my mom welded me by hand.
Sealed off every corner so
Your undignified vernacular wouldn’t disturb my peace.

Your mother must’ve had deleterious effects on you.
She told you that love can only be found through intertwining genitals.
I have iron fists and your forcefulness will not supersede my strength to protect what I own.


Let me tell you sir,
Obeying men is an archaic practice
And I wasn’t born yesterday.
I endure life with fortitude even with the threat of your loaded fist 2 inches from my face.

Your catcalls sting like the hearts of mother’s who have lost their daughter’s to the streets.
I hold my mace like a loaded gun walking in the petrifying night.

Apparently big butts lie, they give you the impression that you can squeeze, but back off the anatomy.
Remember that all women embody beauty and grace, not for you, but for themselves.
Vanessa Apr 2015
Your creative lips
Draw fantasies on my cheek
That only I see.
-V. Nacho
Vanessa Apr 2015
*** is your savior,
The Moonshine is your mission,
Brandy is your bible.

Sip me up like your
Last drop of smooth Tequila.
Which is more deadly?
-V. Nacho
Vanessa Apr 2015
I pick at your mind
Like it is last months shingles
Can't break the habit.
-V. Nacho
Vanessa Apr 2015
I'll cut your tongue off
And I'll smack some truth on it
Because that is what friends do.
-V. Nacho
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