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journal entry Poetry..
I am not ready to face this man
Who broke my heart into squares?
I am not ready to look him full in his lying eyes
And asked him why did he made my eyes overflow
I am not ready as yet to asked him if he remembers
  the birth of his child, the signal from the moon,
the last Friday night of fish and chips
Wailing and speaking in tongues,
being strip down to my waist as
you held my hand and encourage me to be strong!!!!!
That trauma was only for a very short period,
My broken hearts will never heal,
because of whom I invited into my soul
However, to reshape my heart again will take courage, but to
Forgive, sounds good
Forget, I’m not sure I could
They say time heals everything
But I’m still waiting… Quote

Just before he said “How are you Are you okay?
To slam the door in the viper face once again is a step to healing.
I refuse to die
before I can truly
give a lot of love.
Indonesia, 4th July 2021
Arif Aditya Abyan Nugroho
Look beyond the falling raindrops
Beams of sunlight coming through.
Look between the dark clouds
A silver lining is there for you
Parts of a rainbow will soon appear.
Giving color to a grey sky
Such is love, such is life.
Never give up on both
As long as you see your own worth
As long as you love each other
There  is hope.
You will always have sad and difficult days but beautiful and happy ones are also there.
Just look.


Shell ✨🐚
Never give up. Always stay positive and hopeful.
The cage in which I've imprisoned myself seems inescapable
The walls seem to be closing in
And my screams are not audible to anyone
No one can free me from this cage save for myself
I've alienated and isolated myself to the point that I can no longer interact with anyone
I'm completely shut
I need to open up
I've loved and lived loneliness for far too long
To the point that now I can't quite enjoy company
There are countless words to speak
So much I want to share
All the pain...The sadness...The joy
So many secrets buried in the deepest corners of my heart
There's so much love that I want to give
Then why can't I seem to do it?
..Why does it seem so difficult to talk to someone?
I need to fight my fears and insecurities
And just communicate
I need to make an effort and reach out to people around me
Or else I fear going completely insane some day...
...Lying all alone in a room full of darkness and my bed of tears
...Wating for my time to bid goodbye
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