There is no past in this world,
just echoes; Shadows remain.

You and Me.
Right Now.

Eclipse shimmers peek round our silhouettes.
We speak in the same room Now.

We'll soon reassume our assumptions.
We won't forget our conclusions.

Memory is All, we are Now, the two of Us.
The reflections in crossing ripples of thought.

Wave as I echo away for awhile.
Shadows always return.

Days have passed,
I sit and stare,
At the phone,
But why do I care?

You came like a shooting star,
You never promised you’d stay,
I pre assumed it for myself,
That you wanted me and I granted you may.

I was such an idiot,
To give you my all,
I gave you till the brim,
To face this day,when you shall never call?

I still try and flush you,
Out of my mind,
Sometimes It works,
But its not that im blind.

We were like a candle
Spreading light,
Our faces glowing so bright,
We were happy,we were kind,
You flickered it,
What a plight?

O' thee mastermind
You tried to end this
On a note you sound guilty
Gratefully,you had a girl like me
I made sure you don’t feel filthy

******
PITY

These words keep creeping me out
My demons take your side
They come ina stride.
They say I ,myself am a doubt.

I neverdenied not giving
You what you always craved for
I had some rational reasons,
Your tendencies grew more and  more.

My kisses are all that
You wanted
My skin is all that
You longed to feel
With your lascivious eyes
I permitted you to see me
I don’t know you actually saw me
Or saw through me?
My hugs are all you wanted
As a hallmark to our thing

Oh lord,why on earth
Did I fall so hard for a guy
As pervert as you,
Bcus all the reasons why
Left me
Were mere reasons to please your pal.

I was meant to be crushed
You planned my stampede of emotions
Yet,I gave you the key to my heart
And allowed you to rob me wholly?



OH,HOW VULNERABLE WAS I?

Bcus we never
Got physically
Intimate,just like your best friend had,
I was ridiculed and punished relentlessly,
Till I could badly corrode.

You were corrupt,young man!
You are a delaer,**** it!
You hollowed me,I’m empty!
This void that spaces me out
From merry people,kills my insides,
Alas! My murderer for love/boys
Shall never be convicted,for sure.

Rather I’d invite you to the
Cortege of a young
Girl you once
Pretended to love,
And ended up
Suffocating her to death,
Not entirely though,
She still lives,
Partially.
She still fakes a smile.
She still forces a laugh.
Assures herself,she ‘s mature
Enough to go on.
YES,I’m half way there.

But all of me
Loved all of you
And now,when a part of me
Is turning into smoke,
When I dreamt of ‘I dos’
Today I pronounce you
‘guilty as charged’
For hurting me so hard for
Not pleasing  your greedy senses,
Leaving me so
Unpalatable.
When I look at myself
In the mirror
Not that I used to smile everyday
Looking at my reflection.
But this day,
I glare at myself,
Parts of me you wanted to
Touch,
*****,
Feel
And smile.
Im left disgusted, do you even realize
I feel like a ***** *****
how I used to get ready to please you,
and you never appreciated it?
Yeaahhh,now I get you,you never
Liked me with clothes on,isn’t it?
It feels like
Getting ready
To be your meal
Satisfying your hunger
Am I that puerile ?
That silly?
I poured  these things
from me to you
And hope
they will suffice .

I hold you guilty,
Yet release you
Bcus again thankfully,
You were once loved by a girl,
You felt was naïve,
Is strong enough to pardon you,
I don’t know if it’s a
Blessing or a curse,
But hwat I had was true,
And all this time your feelings were strew.

Disgusted,
Definitely,
But certainly,
Not
Destroyed!

I find you in the strangest of places
in empty streets beneath the trees
in crowded rooms full of music and strangers
and sometimes I even find your eyes catch mine or your voice say my name
I find you when you’re not there at all
in the lines of songs and the pages of books
in the caress of my pillow and the formation of my smile
But the strangest place I find you, strangest of all
is on my mind
constantly and irrevocably

a grandiose stature,a pretty face.
a commendable past,a comfortable present.
you command legions,you may be the leader of the free world.
you've been told and time has shown.
you've never met an adversary who could best you.

but like maggots in a ripened apple,
doubts fester in your mind.
can i be more?

you know of defeat.you have courted her.
years have passed but its vile stench still gets to you.
you possess flaws.you're not a god.
you dont have the answer to all the questions.
you're no god.you're a ******.
"you're one in many."

dull at first but soon shrill,
this thought eats away at you.
you die a man,leave behind a shell.
bones decompose and leave that carrion smell.
but in death have you solved your imperfections?
have you left the legion of men and ascended to Olympus?
you're shrunken carcass tells us all we need.
you died human.you're one in many.

a fragrant flower will wilt with time.
the moon gives way to the sun.
mountains crumble and the young,
grow hideous with every passing moment.

fickle birds leave land for another
men seek company in sin and lust
it is but the way of the world
to move on and leave what was once
beautiful,a burning memory.

Feed me for I am starving.
I am carving the future with you, barring myself from the reality.
I like how you hurt me.
The way you spurt out those innocent words, assert your surreality.
Fill me with your fire.
Touch me and burn me with your skin like pyre, this desire so dire.
Haunt me with you words into a dreamlike murk.
I'm a *******, I'll smirk. Let 'em pervade and run and lurk.
Tell me you love her.
But the color of the fiery winter will never wither, like the liquor in a lover.
Feed me for I am starving.
For when I gave you the power to feed me, I also gave you the power to starve me.
And now I am tied with chains all around.
The question that lingers is
Do I want to be found or am I in love with the bound?

I see the water, light penetrates
deep in to the abyss. Lost in
the darkness, sinking
ever deeper as my eyes
glance the shards of light
wanting to climb these steps
to the surface but grasp  on
to liquid just shadows
a trick in my mind.

My lungs pray for air, but
are betrayed by breath that is
liquid death, as it fills I panic
for a moment then I am at peace.
No fighting as I would only hasten
my demise in this coffin of water.

I am alone as I move no more, as
my life leaves me, I fall asleep never
to be woken to sleep in this my watery grave.

How will you understand?
Poetry, Prose or spoken words?
Or will you just watch her do her little drama and sit there expressionless leaving her with nothing but your stagnant body?
Will you let her stare at you forever, looking for an answer with a furrowed deliberation in the hope that maybe you might just read her intrigued eyes?

Is that how?


How will you understand?
Must she cry or must she laugh?
Do you want to see inside of her soul, tearing it apart, where rotten daffodils fill melancholy into her very being?
The anger in her, burning through the page, her heart's bleeding so bad, she might die?

Is that how?

How will you understand?
Must she wait for you by the waters that have witnessed lovers holding hands and passion in all hues?
And wait for you forever?
By her choices? The solitary promenade, the seat next to yours, the heartbreaking option you left her with?
By the reason why she becomes like an attention deficient freak when you're around?

Is that how?


But perhaps, you will not understand.
Perhaps, you never felt the need to understand.