It's not an even playing field, my heart,
It's my arena,
But you've had the home court advantage from the start  

It's not an even playing field, my heart,
You score every goal,
And I barely hit the crossbar  

It's not an even playing field, my heart,
Its defence was always strong,
But your tackling skills are a different art  

It's not an even playing field, my heart,
It let's you foul,
And gives me your red card  

It's not an even playing field, my heart,
And you knew all along,
Your tactics have always been smart

It's not an even playing field, my heart,
It's my arena,
But you've had the home court advantage from the start

A kiss for a every tear,
A hug for every fear,
A hand to hold always,
An iced tea for hot days,

I can't offer you the stars,
They wouldn't do much for your scars,
I can't promise everything will be okay,
But I assure you one thing - I will always stay

I'm thinking of you tonight,
And of how it didn't end quite right;
You'd become a part of me,
Meeting you was like a discovery,
You showed me parts of me
- disguised as parts of you,
And then you were me,
My own, before I knew

My love I called you right from the start,
Little did I know, your home wasn't my heart,
Your un-chosen abode it will always be,
And memories will always be home for me,
You said you would tell me when the fight was done,
And yet, it wasn't exactly you who told me you'd won,
Regardless, I was glad to know,
My baby's okay, even though he won't show,

Maybe okay is an overstatement,
But at least you're getting there,
There will never be a day, where I couldn't care,
And life will go on, sadly, as it must,
And you'll be okay,
I'll hope, I'll trust

Take me in, take me in, sea
One with you, let me be
The loud silence we share is a sign,
I'm a wave, the shore isn't mine

There's just one you for me,
There's just one me for you,
Hold on tight,
We'll see this through and through

So it's over,
The time we had is gone,
Now we're over,
The time of my life is gone,
Stop it if you can?
Would it be a lot?
Maybe you already gave it all you've got,
Is it possible now?
Can it be back some how?
It's lost in the recesses of your memory,
A faint town of what we used to be,
Lost in the alleyways if this new address,
I guess it's over
The time we had is gone

You are a metaphor for me
Words are flashing before my eyes
Every book I read,
I find you in every character...
Yet when I fill pages about you,
not one makes sense

"Don't worry about me, I am not your problem"
Oh but darling, you are my *solution

Can you not see -
That I'm not blind?

Exhausted all my change calling you,
Didn't get through
Only to realise, *your line was dead

Cannot overemphasise the importance of never giving up,
If you believe in a cause, a person, an idea, with every cell in your body,
No matter what logic and books and your friends and the internet may say,
If you have faith in something,
You owe it to yourself, and the object of your belief,
To fight -
Every hurdle in your way,
And if that hope and belief survives every hurdle...









So will you

Through tortured hands,
And a tormented mind,
Rose a rhythm,
Nearly divine

A pianist I knew,
Par excellence,
Stroked keys with ease,
His fingers danced

With perfect balance,
Of black and white,
The baffled king played,
For the rapt knight

But the melody ended,
Before I knew,
Like waking from a dream,
I thought was true

Saw a picture of you today,
It's a working Saturday,
You're with others, where we used to work,
You were smiling in the picture,
It wasn't a specially good photo,
In fact, you looked sad and tired,
But,
You were smiling,
Putting on your game face I'd say,
And you looked glorious,
And I thought,
The world's a better place
'Cause you're in it,
'Cause you're smiling

I thought I could paint you a new picture,
Smiles, giggles, hugs and kisses,
I wanted a picture perfect life for you, with me,
For me, with you,
We've had those moments,
I am sure those were what they call ~heaven on earth~
And I love you, I do,
But day by day and everyday, my love,
I think, I feel, you'd be happier without me,
And I still want that picture perfect life,
For you, for you

This brokenness,
is our oneness,
I don't want a cure

My dark, my light,
My star shining so bright,
My heaven, my hell,
My only prayer for a wishing well,
My smile, my tear,
My strength to overcome fear,
My silence, my song,
My right to every wrong,
My baby, my boy,
My highest and pure joy,
My life, my all,
My reason to stand tall,
Do me a favour - be okay

It It began with my broken, shaky, nervous words,
This friendship,
Then you made it a song,
My broken, shaky, nervous words have resurfaced,
But I guess only you know where that's coming from

Are there ruins in your head?
Where I see treasures
Is there pain in your eyes?
Where I see hue lit sunsets
Is there darkness in your heart?
Where I see fear
Is there a secret in your laughter?
Where I hear tomorrows
Is there deceit in your words?
Where I see promises
Is there armoury in your arms,
Where I find comfort
Is there anything real?
Where I have built air castles
Is there hope?
In those ruins, that pain, darkness, laughter, words, arms,
all that I am hopelessly in love with

You moved something inside me,
Set it to the right place

I wish there was a reset button,
To be pressed every time someone left,
A 'restore factory settings'
To enable after every heartbreak,
For it seems,
Everyone that plays with this shameless heart,
Takes away a little something,
Never leaving it whole, and not nearly the same,
It's almost like it has to learn how to beat all over again,
It beats to a tune,
And tunes can't handle a lot of resets

All I'm feeling is sad,
All I want is you

There will come a time,
Things won't seem so bad,
We'll share a laugh and a beer,
For every ounce of strength you've had

Exquisitely scented, beautifully petalled, long stemmed,
You shared them with me in all their glory,
I was in awe of their splendour
But then I noticed, they had thorns too,
Thorns which didn't reduce their beauty, rather made them real,
When I asked you about the thorns,
You hid your callused hands away,
And denied their existence,
You didn't want to lose the admiration of their beauty,
And I didn't want to overlook the reality of their thorns,
Meanwhile, the roses withered

I dreamt you last night,
And since I woke up,  
I've been trapped in that dream,
We were in a field,
Your head resting on lush green grass,
My head resting on you,
You were reading a book,
I was running my fingers through your hair,
For once, both at peace,
And I said, "come, let's go home",
And even in the dream,
You remained silent

At one point in time, you just want to surrender,
Accept that you're weak,
Maybe you were never strong to begin with,
All you want is...





Defeat (relief)

And the sadness was so profound,
Such a part of my insides,
Such a weight over my chest,
That cutting off from the world wasn't an option,
But a necessity,
To keep this disease,
From spreading;
This unhealthy parasite of a feeling,
From eating up the people I loved
I'm sorry

It's your journey,
And a single ticket is all you've got,
You were kind enough to let me in on your travels,
Thank you,
I've learned but an ocean full of secrets,
And I could go on forever,
Around the world and back,
With you
But a single ticket is all you've got,
So for my borrowed and stolen time,
Thank you,
And safe travels, my love

Nothing is where it is, because you want it to be...
Nobody is who they are, because you want them to be...
You may be who you are, and where you are, because you want to be,
But you won't be at peace,
until you are who and where,
*you are meant to be

My love,
You are in pain,
You can't hear me through the glass doors,
Nor does my hand touch yours,
- To comfort you (and me), momentarily, in vain
Thankfully, thoughts are not bound,
By these physical dependencies of expression,
You are with me,
In these thoughts,
In all the music,
Your gorgeous smile, like the wallpaper of my head,
Keeping me going,
My darling, your body hurts,
As does your mind,
There's not much I can do,
Except hope that you'll find,
My thoughts and love,
Ever present,
A warm blanket over you,
- I hope you feel,
Just a little longer,
And I won't have to steal,
Your smile from photographs,
Your laugh unreal,
A little longer,
A little longer,
Vacant eyes will shine,
Empty hearts will overflow,
Just a little longer, my love,
Through the clouds we'll see a rainbow

They were shattered pieces of glass,
In a jar I had kept away,
I thought I'd use them,
To create an artefact some day,
You found the jar in my closet,
I told you with this jar don't play,
You said you could make something beautiful,
With my shattered glass and your clay,
Then you made a masterpiece,
Your art had a metamorphic way
And although you broke your own creation,
Thank you, is all I could say

I've never learned how to let go,
And I probably never will,
I gave you the key to my soul,
You probably did too,
And while you waited for the perfect moment to unlock the door,
I jammed the key in too soon,
So I don't blame you for walking away,
Do whatever you must,
But don't expect me to let go,
Un-gracefully, let us self destruct

Let the light inside you shine bright,
Illuminating the darkness outside -
Which would otherwise consume you raw

Drawing answers from silence,
Where's the silent language of us?

Unfortunately your heart has been touched,
Now it wants more

The portions of your person, you think aren't nice,
They're the best of you, when looked through my eyes
It's a gamble opening up a heart so soon,
When the only thing we share, is the same sun and moon
Still I feel, it's worth taking a chance,
'Least we can do, is have a dance
I want to know everything about you at once,
And then I don't want to run out of things to know
Without even catching your hand,
How do I not want to let go?

Like a star in a dark star-less sky,
Appeared without prelude,
Like a shooting star on a beautiful night,
Disappeared with nothing to conclude

To think of just yesterday
Too soon to become a **memory

It was the night of the crimson moon,
Maybe that explains,
The stir in the sea of emotions,
A wave of fear,
Then one of courage,
A wave of love,
Then one of indifference,
Crashing on the shore of the heart,
Logic threw boulders,
To avoid another crash,
But the waves, stronger,
Strengthened by the moon,
Overcame,
Submerged

There is nothing romantic,
Nothing beautiful,
Nothing insightful,
Nothing strengthening,
Nothing poetic,
About missing you
It plain *****.

Your absence from my life *****,
I've stopped making efforts that go in vain,
I've accepted that for you, there's nothing to gain,
But you were my calm in every storm,
You were the big bang, where my real journey began from,
You were all I aspired to be,
You were the only face I ever wanted to see,
You were the alpha and omega of all that I am,
You were the only one, with whom I'd share my bread and jam,
But you've severed all those ties,
And I've stopped believing my lies,
So we go on with our lives,
But,
Your absence from my life *****

You became too crucial,
Key word being  too
Too essential,
Like the air I breathe,
But of all the things you can do,
I should have known,
You could cut off the air,
Leave me to suffocate

I can only see the world from my perspective,
So please believe me when I look at you and say,
*It's a gorgeous view