zappa blows cartoon music
out of a cerulean blue kazoo
in my kitchen while i
eat greasy cold pizza
out of a crusty cardboard box
& marcus the kitten gnaws
on my sock ankle achilles
& it's in moments like this
that i'm a-ok with being alone
my **** could stay soft for the
rest of my life no problemo
i'm beautiful alone i tell myself
out loud & marcus stops chewing
acts like he understands me
but i know it's only
temporary this feeling of adequacy
& full-time fulfillment tomorrow
i'll wake up cold & lonely again
& pining for smooth thighs
& butterflies
& a girl whose best friend committed suicide

A few years back, in 2003
My older brother confided in me
That he didn't like girls, he knew he was gay
But we'd always been told that wasn't okay

He looked so afraid and with tears in his eyes
Looked up and he cried "I'm always living lies!"
Our parents were Christian, and he was unsure
If they would accept him or look for a cure

I kept his secret til he shed his doubt
He gathered my family, and finally came out
I was so proud, but he seemed so ashamed
He thought that by "God" for his "choice" he'd be blamed

My father still loved my brother the same
But he couldn't believe that, and wallowed in pain
They have stopped speaking, and haven't in years
And when I see my dad he still breaks down in tears

He loves his son and misses him still
But my brother's convinced my dad never will
So they both remain empty and both just stay sad
They're both too stubborn to fight for what they had

She put on her favorite black dress,
grabbed her camera and guitar,
walked to the graveyard on 9th and S
because it wasn't very far

This place was her true sanctuary
The place where she felt most at home
She'd sing songs in the cemetery
Tunes for the boxes of bones

Sitting atop of a headstone,
she'd take photographs of the crows
And she knew that she wasn't alone
Her friends were all buried in rows

Each song that she played would just echo
And bounce right back into the ground
The ghosts grabbed on and would not let go
And they rode her music all around

She cried at the beauty before her
The music and ghosts filled the skies
And the undead began to adore her
As more darkness grew in her eyes

At one point she tried to leave that place
But the graveyard kept bringing her back
She then lost all the color from her face,
turned into stone, and then cracked

I can't remember a time
When things tasted sweet
When colors were vibrant
When my heart could beat

Everything's bitter
And little looks bright
My heart sits still
And my chest feels tight

Everything's empty
My life seems so cold
My shell starts to peel
As my story gets told

My life's an exaggeration
Of what people know
I'm just a cartoon
An entertaining show

But to me this is real
It's how I'm stuck living
I'm trapped in a hole
Just endlessly giving

Nothing tastes sweet
All my light has gone
I'm stuck in this trap
As you're moving on

He said "Baby, I really want to put it in your ***."
She said "Okay, but I have terribly bad gas."
So he stuck it in when suddenly he heard a sonic boom
As he was quickly shot out of her *** across the room

Communicating
Everything I want to say
With just one finger

The perfect sets of skin had found their way
To each other and then they began to touch
They didn't really have that much to say
But they intently loved each other very much

Their sounds of sweet love were being screamed
And they instantly melted into just one
This *** was better than any ever dreamed
It went on for hours before it was done

He looked at her and she began to cry
And then she had a fit of vicious sneezes
And now you know that this was why
Her ****** was broken into pieces

.

                                  
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