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492 · Jun 2018
Reminder
Bea Pineda Jun 2018
It’s already 4 am
I suddenly woke up
I found myself still waiting for your message—an apology
But I saw nothing
I was urged to click the call button
Thinking that you’re also longing for my presence
But I was wrong
You were on a phone call with somebody else
I expect nothing but a shattered heart
But no, it was not what I expected
No tear was shed
I felt nothing at that very moment
And I heard a whisper saying, “Don’t have second thoughts of going back.”
I stood up and walked away with a dagger in my chest.
I saw a train and said, “come and ride, I’ll bring you to your destination in no time”
I looked at my bare feet and I saw that they were tired walking
I was about to ride the train, but I chose to walk even my feet were full of nothing but blood and thorns
So I sat at my favorite bench where I used to wait, in order to breathe
Then I stood up and begin walking



a note was left on the bench
“You may visit, but don’t ever come back”
384 · May 2018
Gray
Bea Pineda May 2018
Maybe deluge is for us. Where the sun is hiding under the clouds.
Maybe the collision of clouds and vapor that precipitates are tears that make a sea of woe.
Maybe the thunder is the abrasive sound that shatters our hearts.
Maybe the lightning is the cause of our friction.
Maybe tsunamis are the wrathful tears that came from our mouths
Maybe sandstorms blind our minds from reality
Maybe the cyclones are the whirlwinds that drift our hearts
Maybe stormy days are meant for us
Maybe collision of our hearts is friction.
Maybe the colliding of our souls is a complete disaster
Maybe our love is meant for tragedy.
Maybe we're not meant to make the sun shine
Maybe our rainbow is shades of black and gray.
229 · May 2020
Ikot
Bea Pineda May 2020
Lumipas ang oras, araw, linggo, taon
tila sa puso’y wala ng nakabaon
Iniisip na, okay na siguro ako
Nakalimutan na niya siguro ako.

Dumating ang araw na pinakainiiwasan ko,
Ang maalala mo ko muli,
Biglang umilaw ang cellphone ko,
Ikaw na naman ang nakita ko.

Nagulumihanan ako,
Litong lito,
Sa kung ano dapat ang mararamdaman ko
Pero sinabi ko sa sarili ko,
Tama na,
Paulit ulit na,
Tila parang nag-iikutan lang tayo ng walang katapusan

Gustong gusto kong sagutin ang mensahe mo
Ngunit sino na naman ang makakalimutan ko
Sino na naman ang mapapabayaan ko
Sino na naman ang papahirapan ko

Nagpasya ako,
Tama na,
Huli na ito,
Di na ko mahalaga sa iyo,

Tinitigan ko nalang ang mensahe mo.
Pero wala ng kasunod pagkatapos noon.
Dahil alam ko sa sarili ko na,
Ginagamit mo lang ako kung kailan mo gusto.

Pero kahit anong gawin ko,
Di ko maitatanggi sa sarili ko
Na hinihintay pa rin kita,
Sana makita mo halaga ko sayo
Na kahit hindi na tayo mag-usap at magkita

Mumultuhin ka pa rin ng mga alaala ko
At makikita mo pa rin ako sa kahit sinong babaeng ipalit mo.
160 · Jul 2019
Blank
Bea Pineda Jul 2019
Emptiness is felt
And your heart starts to ponder the feelings that have left
You are looking for a missing piece that has taken away from you
And you know to yourself that you can’t get it back
You are looking for a lost soul of yours
That is wandering
Nowhere to be found by others but you
Your mind is blank like a clean sheet of paper
You don’t want it to be written but the person who have left you in the shadows of doubt

— The End —