I'm old fashioned enough to remember when turquoise was not for boys, a nice enough colour and with healing properties apparently, but it's not for me.

I dress in grey,
battleship grey to
match my face on
any given day
and
it seems I've been
given
lots of days,

She says,
that I should mend my ways,
wonder if mending the car
counts.

You dont need people
To see your strength
To convince yourself
That you are strong.



You are.

I am a bee in the
sunflowers of memories.
I find shelter and solitude
underneath the petals
and harvest that sweet nostalgia
of this garden we once shared.

I cannot see the beauty in me,
for I've tainted myself with lies and impurity
Hid in a house made
with concrete irresponsibility,
and now they hold no trust in me.

I painted the exterior as if the one who did it wasn't me,
and had the inside done with walls I can't even reach.

gone is the real me,
I locked the door and threw away the key.

a toned color of red smeared on my body,
only wishing to tear each part of me to see what's wrong and how empty I came to be.