I shared me
willingly
openly
quietly
smilingly.
Now today
emotional ricochet.
Unexpectedly,
painfully.
What are we
not saying.

I’m crashing,
looking,
searching
for connection.
Touch.
Laughter.
Not cheaply.
Only genuinely.
The task seems huge.
Thank goodness that you
(my illicit love that could never be)
left me with this self-confidence.
It gives such strength and
reassurance.

Emotional manipulation
wielded quietly;
with a reasonable face
or a compelling look.
I see you now.
I cannot unsee you.
Ever.

This crazy, changing life.
It’s been down, sideways, up.
Who knows about tomorrow.
These ups - will they stay?
I feel they can;
they want to.
They depend on me
feeding my soul
being true to myself,
my children, my heart.
Getting to know myself again
And I feel so much better
than before.

A beautiful day;
fourth date.
Good company,
smiling eyes,
winery, views.
Kissing, holding.
He’a so careful for me,
so kind.
I need to be careful for him
because I like him but
I’m not sure that
it’s a heart match.

The way that new experiences
can unearth old emotions.
Bring them swooping out into the light
to overwhelm with feeling.
Startling in their strength;
when you didn’t know they were still there, lurking and waiting
to re-emerge.

Spotlight of friendship’s sunshine
steadily illuminating with
love, kindness, consistency.
A steadying light
in times of upheaval.