I've outgrown the rage
and fallen into God's design
all the hurt and pain is gone
I've left that part of me far behind.

I remember
despite it being crass
what my wise grandpa once said
"You've made your bed
Now shove it up your ***!"
while that is disturbing as sin
however, the real problem is
I forgot what nursing home
we stuck him in.

It's getting better all the time
not the struggle
it always stays the same
but the difference is
truly I am now
a more accomplished liar.

Think about it---
with so many things left undone
and so many words not being said
no wonder there are so many ghosts
and so few bedsheets.

Drowning,
I can see the shore
I am closer now
than I was before
a playful breeze at my back
the feverish sun sinking low
only a little more left now,
a few hundred miles to go.

You tell me the world is rotten
and I turn my face away
you say it is hopeless
yet, I still manage to believe

older brother,
you can not smother the flame within me
it glows all the more brightly
day by day

little sister,
it is that hatred and jealousy
that will do you in
it is the real reason
that you are not free

sitting prostrate
in front of a dying fire
rubbing your hands for warmth
while your own light is choking
on fading embers.

Demanding loyalty
being bonded to a pax romana,
contract or treaty
and craving attention
from all that I see
just as our fathers
and mothers before us
just as any good creator would do
I am focused on the worship of me.