Agony is dripping off of me.
It’s leaving puddles that will spoil the rug.
I’m tracking footprints of it
All across the kitchen floor.

My misery is a shrieking wail
That has the local canines all on edge,
And could entertain by breaking glass.

My hopelessness is fog so thick
I cannot see across the room.
It snuffs out any candles lit.

And yet you do not notice
You do not see
You do not hear
You do not know my flame’s gone out.

How am I to make you share
This awful death I’m dying -
Or must I do it all alone.
ljm

I don’t know where it went
  I just know it’s gone
    I don’t know how it happened
      I just know I did it
        I don’t know what it even was
          I just know I miss it
            I don’t know where to go to find it
              I just know I have to try
                             ljm

every time you glance over a "fine"
every time you're cold and unsupportive
when you ask the easy questions
when you see pain in someones eyes
and do nothing
every time....

you're gambling with a life
so ask the hard questions
see past the masks and lies
throw down the rope
or tie the noose
it's your call this time

I should talk about you Ma,
but what is there to say?
You lived like an illusion
inside of a nightmare.

You were born to be a
queen.  You said so
so often I wanted to run
away forever and never
again hear you prattle.

I wanted to love you but
failed.  You were brave
in your illness.  You wore
your psychosis like a
badge.  The crest of
madness suited you.

When you died they laid
you out like royalty.
Finally you composed
the scenery for us,
your subjects.

Michael was unmoved
while I cried.  Daddy was
a wreck washed up on
a lonely island.  His raison
d'etre gone forever.

My tears were a shock.
The last two minutes you
took from me.

I have never returned to
your lonely palace

underground.


Caroline Torpey Shank

Running away from yourself

Shows you have the strength to run

And it’s ok to run away for a while

Just make sure you come back

to bleed, to cry
what is the difference
for they both do a vital task
draw attention to an injury
in need of treatment

I feel your presence behind me,
dragging me down
I see you in my quiet eyes
framed with a deep purple

I fear your whisper
a song of loneliness, laced with lies
as I move through the hours

You sneak up in the daylight,
grabbing wind in my lungs
you never seem to let go

I’m constantly at your mercy
fearful of your defiance
I’m prey and you are predator
and the hunt is almost over