i miss the feeling of being held
your strong arms around my chest
muscles flexing
grasping around my throat
pulling my ponytail
eyes looking up eager to get rid of this love drought
your fingertips tracing my thighs
hands pinned down while you look me in the eyes
a hard ******
to soothe my craving lust
heart racing faster
breathing increasing
...faster
...faster
...and faster

stop.

like a tsunami of relief
washing over me
ridding me of my misery
all my senses heightened
my vocal chords tightened
let out a scream

Quand je regarde toi je vois le soleil
Et je pense de la lune, ils sont toi et moi
quand l'hiver me laisse brûler
tu ne m'as rien dit, le silence se figea

as-tu fait la lessive
Je me suis allongé dans le panier
Serre moi
comme il la tenait en janvier


Hier il a dansé, je ne l'avais pas vu marcher depuis des années
aujourd hui je n'avais pas de pieds
Je ne sais pas ce que j'ai fait
hier il savait ce que j'ai dit
aujourd'hui j'ai parlé en français cassé

fin

when i look at you i see the sun
and i think of the moon, they are me and you
when winter lets me burn
you didn't say anything to me, the silence froze

did you do the laundry
i layed in the basket
hold me
like he held her in january

yesterday he danced, i had not seen him walk in years
today i have no feet
I do not know what i have done
yesterday he knew what i said
today i spoke in broken french

end

Sifting through each little grain
As though sand
Leaving a trail back to reality

Metaphorically speaking
Youve found yourself at a disadvantage
Something seemingly self dug
The kind of place a rope would just laugh in your face
And hands cant pull you out
Metaphorically speaking

Written lines meant to pass time
Past thoughts meant to cast rhyme to fuel the pain i
Listen to the listless words that flood my
Mind i cant get out come and grab my hand and

And
**** man i dont know what i need to say
to make sense of this disarray
Just lay me back to sheets on someone elses bed
with arms resting over my Body
Bleak-

Cant some body come and hijack this pain

Or just ridicule me out of this shame

day to day
I wish youd pass me in the halls
Or wish my happy birthday in my dreams
Pray to god that she will keep her mind
I ******* hate to think i made u cry

And its by nature that i crave pain
Crave some soul to curl up to and call my own
Not the one im born with
I crave to idealize some kinder souls eyes
And drift away
Melt into softer **** and fade away into a warmer day

Into  kinder wiles, that isnt paired with tainted eyes and a faker smile
Hold me tight with intention of giving up
This life has ****** me up and id really really like to

Melt away.
Its the saddest **** to say but it has to get out somewhere

Dont push me away
Because no matter the ******* distance my mind will keep me restless about how your heart is doing

And on the final day
I keep my body closest
Feeling this earth, the realest that i have ever ever felt.
Sweep this haze above me
Recognize and turn unlove to me
Help me say goodnight

Say good night.