I almost forgot how crying felt like,
In an abnormal night,
Some water fell from my eyes
It looked like tears
Who am I to guess if they were?
I remember those car rides with my aunt
When I was 6 and refused to fall asleep
She'd loop around the silent night streets
And then I'd block out
And wake up next morning in my bed
What he loved about her was that she was full of life
Little did she know
That he was fantasizing about death
Why is it hard
To fall in love
After you fell once?
Seven years ago
You were here
Seven years later
You're still here
Maybe you passed away
But you're still with us
Every corner of the house reminds me of you
You're soul is the thing keeping us going
I'll see you on the other side
Is killing me
Sometimes I wish was better
I think I'm enough
Now I really know exactly what you mean to me
But it's too late
You know the importance of things/people/places when you're about to leave them behind.
I was telling the night breeze about your smile
I asked her to go check if you're also thinking about me
She isn't back yet
When you feel your heart going numb while talking to someone?!
Or like just see their smile.
Or just see them walking by.
Or just thinking about them.
And there I was
Waiting for the Sun
While the Sun burned my skin
"Love" is a big word
But I think I love you
Not sure yet
I don't want to be broken again
I don't want to feel unwanted again
I don't want our friendship to end when you discover this.
I just want you to look me in the eyes like you always do.
And smile genuinely when we talk like you always do.
And do whatever you did to make me 'love' you
We promised that we'd meet next Thursday
It's been four years
Many weeks passed without Thursdays
I'm no longer looking for a Thursday.
But you know some thoughts never leave.
*What if* I hate that
I think home isn't house
I think home is where you belong
I think it's where you're there and there's no where else you'd rather be.
And when you're near.
I feel I belong only by your side
And when I talked to him
I felt something I hadn't felt in years..
While we talk time seems to fly by
And as soon as I walk away
I wish I could get back
Even if I have no heart left
To love you with
I will love you
With all the left pieces
They say love comes at the most unexpected times
The wrong person finds you in peace
And leaves you in pieces
The right one finds you in pieces
And leads you to peace
So I hope you're the right person
In this world
And specially these days I'd like to find peace
Like I found in your half-moon smile and the stars in your eyes when you look at me
'Love takes your breath away'
But I've never thought it was so literal
At least I know something new.
Friends are just life lessons
Learn from your human-like mistakes
Don't let them let you down
But you know
Even if you've been stabbed
It's only a reason to learn a new thing.
The only friend I have that will never hurt me is me.
Is it possible to stay silent and alone for a moment with no one asking what's wrong?
Is it possible to have someone asking "what's wrong" and my answer is other than "nothing"?
Is it possible to just talk to whoever I want to and get away from the others?
Is it possible to just be myself?
Can I just be myself
Talk whenever I want to and have no one asking if I'm depressed or sad or mad about them
I'm not necessarily mad but I don't want to talk
Can I just be anti-social
Yes it's not the old me
But I'm a new me
I love myself as I am
And I want people to understand that I'm not the same anymore
That's why I've been avoiding almost everyone this period
Everything's under controle
And then you loose it.
You can't cry,
But you're eyes are burning
You try to escape
Stay alone for a second
But have a flashback
Of what happened
And you're out of breath
You loose your self controle
But try to be stronger
Try to not feel alone
At the moment you most need a friend
But you have to be strong in front of them
"I'll never let them see the worst of me"
You were so beautiful today
You're always astonishing
For the first time
You looked real
Unlike my fictional old days
And reality is more beautiful than my dreams.
Having a broken heart
Breaking someone else's heart
I had nothing to do
You know I love him.
It's even more odd
Seeing both of them at the same time
Don't you ever say
"Someone made my day"
Even simply by their existence
But have you ever thought that
You made someone's day
Maybe the "good morning" I said
Is his last thought today
And he remembers it
And then sleeps peacefully
Even thought I don't even like him
And he loves me
I'm happy that I made him smile
The fact that someone is happy because of me
Makes me glad
And I could see his face changing
From "will she say hi back?"
To a big smile in his eyes.
Eyes as dark as midnight
Skin as Bright as moonlight
Maybe this isn't enough
To describe him
I need to point to the astonishing smile of his
The magnificent voice he has
I see you
For three years
I've never really
You seem like a stranger
A stranger that stole my world.
And I saw
That your love
Seems so fictional
I met someone
And I made up some stories in my mind
And I believed them.
I made you good
And every possible thing
And I fell for you.
I know you're not accepting the fact that I love you
But I truly do.
I kind of love it
That I have some sort of power
Over someone who loves me
Even if I don't feel the same
And I hate myself about that.
Do You like school?
I had to think
Because school isn't just walls and chairs,
Because school is our second home,
Because school is the reason you know lots of people.
Maybe it's hard
Maybe it's depressing
A lot of reasons can make me
School is something we can't skip
And I'm glad it's obligatory,
School is more than only learning
I know learning is important.
School teaches us about the world
It's like a free trial of the real world
We meet people of all types
We're forced to choose the right ones
Or at least who we think they are.
School helps us,
And teaches us,
How to fit into the society's cookie mold
School isn't paradise
Some of us
Cry theirselves to sleep
Don't we know about these things?
But we only care about ourselves
Because we're selfish
And if we're not the bullied
The social anxious
We do not care.
Thank you my school
Thank you for teaching me
That the perfect life does not exist
That there's no perfect people
That even your friends may turn their backs to you
School is a world
Nor physical education
School is social education.
And this is why I love school
Not just like it,
But love it !
Does that answer your question?
I know it's too long but...
What if the loves that never happened went up to make sunlight?
Then I think I know why love's pain is always beautiful.
Minutes turn into days and days will eventually turn into months
I can see the final chapter from here.
But I can't quit thinking that the author may change it.
When you have so much to say,
And who promised to stay,
Is a million worlds away.
Pain has found it's way into the heart I thought was healed.
And now I know that it was me.
No one was wrong I am the big mistake.
I make things complicated and even if there's someone who wanted to stitch my heart.
I finish by breaking there's and mine even more.
So I'm just saying..
even thought it's too late to apologize and an apology won't fix the broken glass.
At least I tried.
I hope our broken hearts continue to beat for each others.
What is it?
It's just a thing anyway..
And it can't be seen.
So I hope we love what's seen.
And not to fall for the idea of being in love.
As my heart starts beating like crazy
As my pen starts running on the paper
My words starting to form
For the first time in forever
A dream as true as ever
Verse after verse
And a poem started to form
And I had to hide it from the world
Then poem after poem
And a notebook is fillen
I felt like someone needs to read them
'Cause I can't let it in for long,
And a friend liked 'em
And then lots of people knew I could write
I just needed some motivation
To write more and more
And somewhere to share my poems
And someone appeared
As if to lead the way
I have no fear
And my notebook is no longer behind the bookshelf
It's on my desk
So everyone can read
I'm not the best writer
Neither the best poet
But I'm trying
Doing my best
Writing wasn't my thing
I'm happy it is now
Huge thanks to my favourite poet.. the one who made me believe in myself and introduced me hello poetry. (I hope you're reading)
We can't blame a year for heartbreak
And don't think of this year as the worst
You can look back and see the happiness that was there
"We do not remember days we remember moments"
It's just that..
I'm a different person now
Because I will always love you isn't just a song
Because you can't tell someone you love them and then change your mind
You know your eyes will always shine my world
Even thought they're the darkest thing I've ever saw
As soon as love starts running in your veins
Everything will be different
But you are afraid
Afraid that you'll be burned again
I will love you
Even if nothing guarantees that you'll love me back
That's what love is
Thank you, midnight sky
I really have to thank you
Because you were there for me
When no one else could
When I was thinking about him
When I was keeping a secret
A new one
thinking if I have to tell someone or just keep it to myself
waiting alone for an answer to appear
Between yesterday's clouds
And then a star appeared and I couldn't stop staring at it
And then I felt some kind of relief
Like I have told someone my secret
So thank you midnight sky
I used to think that friendship is the greatest
It is in some ways
But what if you discover that you have no friends
No close friends I mean
You find yourself talking with people and having fun with them
But they know nothing about you
They think they do
No one really knows
And no one can see
The anxious and depressed person inside you
Just because you're trying to be funny and act like you're the life of the party
But no one beside your hidden notebook knows the real you
I wrote this because:
Because you may have a friend.. who always gives you advice. And tries to make you smile.
And he's always wise and knows how to take you away from depression and he does. But trust me that person, even if he looks so strong, he is weak inside. Even if you don't see him crying or complaining. You really don't know him.. And no one does
Sorry if I'm too much
And sorry If I wasn't what you expected
Sorry to be that girl you'll never like
Sorry that my love wasn't enough
Sorry if I can't say this to you
But trust me I tried
And I won't quit trying
Just to tell you that you mean the world to me
And that your eyes are my most beautiful dream and my scariest nightmare
I don't know why but i had to get this out of my chest
I had to say this but no one will understand....
To anyone who's reading.. thanks for being there for me
Yes it's been three years..
And three are enough for you to forget who I was
But I can't quit thinking that you're lying
No one can forget someone who confessed their love
Straight to your face
I'd rather be shot that heartbroken
Because a shot can be healed
But a heartbreak...
Well you'll be heartbroken for forever
I didn't have the chance to choose
So I'm heartbroken for life
Some people find it hard to cry
It's good to cry because there's more place to pain on the outside than the inside
But what if I'm one of those 'some people' I really want to give it a try and cry as hard as possible
This is not a poem it's just a thought that crosses my mind
If I was brave enough
Talking to you won't be this rough
If I was brave enough
Which I'm not
Was it your eyes?
Was it your smile?
It was your voice!
I'm just asking myself what was the reason my heart chose you
Was it the rain that made me fall in love?
Or was it a sign that I'm gonna drown?
I used to wish that I could look at you from a closer spot
But when you where close I couldn't even look at you
Because you can't stare directly at the sun
Your eyes will get burned
They say November is the month of falling in love
Well they're lying
I loved him 21st of December 3 years ago
I wish I could tell how much I miss you
I wish I could look at you without fear
I wish I could make you smile even once
I wish I could tell you how much I love you everyday
I wish I could look into your eyes from a closer spot
I wish I could hold your hand
I wish I could have you a little bit closer
I wish I could see the spark of your eyes clearly
I wish my heart never stoped beating for you... and my love for you, to never expire
I know too many dreams.. but they all lead to one -you-
Your eyes are dark like the doubts that make me afraid,
But beautiful like the Sun after a thunderstorm.
Your smile is the dust that can turn to flowers.
Your voice is like the echo of "love"
In the whole world they will NEVER find a soul like yours
Tell me what will happen
If I stop loving you,
If your smile is gone
If the stars of your eyes stop lighting up the world (my world)
Tell me what will happen
If I froget the tune of your voice
If my heart never beats for you,
Nothing will stay..
Only the heartache
You will no longer remember me;
But trust me
Years and years later 'if' I saw you I will still feel the pain and my heart will revive again.
— The End —