If you were a ladybug and I was a ladybug
we could hangout on a strawberry together.
❤️

This toll of life?  Tis not of years
And youthful cloth outgrown,
Nor failing eyes dulled in arrears
For sleep they might have known —

Tis in the heart the toll is paid
With weight of love ungiven,
And foolish is the heart afraid
To seek on Earth for Heaven.

Two of the harshest lessons I've learned thus far
Would have to be
That you cannot save everyone
You cannot always save someone from taking an entire bottle
You cannot always save someone from jumping
You cannot always save someone from the shot of a gun
From the knot of a rope
You also cannot keep everyone you used to care for or still care for
Some will leave
Some you will have to leave
It'll fill you with anger
All the stages of grief
Apply to basically everything
In the end no one can truly accept the fact
That we have to go through heart-wrenching things
Two of the harshest lessons I've learned thus far unfortunately
Both involve
Abandonment

The crying stops eventually
The sadness does not

When the night grabs ahold of my lapels and shakes me until my mind rattles, I submit and hang limply from its fingers until it drops me onto my pillow to rot until the morning.

And morning comes and reminds me that even with sunlight the sadness does not stop. It grabs my cheeks and stares me in the eyes until I remember to breathe and then it pushes me away into the abyss of late afternoon where the first tendrils of night begin to reach for my collar once more.

The endless cycle of being too alive for feeling so empty.