every night
i hold
you in my arms
and every night you
slip through them

like petals
falling away from
vines of wisteria

a pillow
is too soft
to be your firm
chest pressing against
mine so trembling
a pillow
is too smooth
to be adorned with
your rough
soothing hair

i long to hold you
to show you
how you must
be loved

even now you're
with me
while i restlessly sleep
but with every night
more of you
more of your lips
your beard
your nose
your laugh

more of your eyes

more of you fades
into the fog of
april's early morning

and with time our
arms come to shiver
as they lack the truth
of the other's caress

i felt eternity in the prickly hairs of his chest.

tears fell as there was nothing I could do
to halt the melting of his eyelids,
submerging all truth, all aspiration.

why could i not see
that the beyond was all around me?

in an unmoving, unyielding laser focus,
i’ve somehow let it all melt away:
another year swirled down
the drain.

but new years will come;
old years will go.
to the rhythm of time’s drum
i’m planting roses; tomorrow they’ll grow.

God's Mercy rushed
over me,
enshrouded you
in its grace.

It washed us
clean,
its tide so calm, so pure.
It was my mother’s breathing,
your father’s laughter,
their chests rising and
falling.


It tore off our
skin
in another war of charity;
it peeled us
to the holy core.

Then all I knew was that
I felt safe with you.

Jesus, Jesus, Jesus.
Mercy, Mercy, Mercy.
Tanrı benim gücümdür.
Tanrım, lütfen beni koru.

Down from the imposing
basilica's dome,
to the pulpit's
booming drone,
to our soul's
cold sweat
after the angels have gone
to bed.

We saw it all with bloodshot eyes,
wondering how
we could flay ourselves
further yet.

Then all you knew was that
you were scared of yourself.

Jesus, Jesus, Jesus.
Mercy, Mercy, Mercy.
Tanrı benim gücümdür.
Tanrım, lütfen beni koru.

yellow afternoon
light flitted

across your face

yellow
so sweet and faithful

the truth fled your
lips with too much
ease

and so the moment of your tender love
departed
my memory at such a gut-wrenching pace

what a tearful memory
your sad brown eyes
            sad brown eyes
                sad brown eyes

you’ll never know
how beautiful
you are
   you are
       you are

i love you
i love you
   sad brown eyes

don’t
  don’t
     don’t look to my feet

look to my eyes
know how loved
you are
   you are
                       i promise that you are

within you a dog is howling,
Precious Love

a dog’s growls brought you to a
frozen trembling

a dog’s barking brought you
into my arms

a dog’s barking brought night’s cold,
Lonely Love

a dog howls for food; you’re too frightened to
feed it

you would if you only knew better,
you frightened fool

a dog will stop its howling once it ventures to eat
its master’s heart

Precious Love, Precious Love, my Love: no more
muffling of ears
no more swallowed
tears, nor wasted years

for before long,
a howling dog appears

eyes intertwined like
two thin blackberry vines on
the cold chain-link fence.