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declan morrow Sep 28
if you see him, tell him.
tell him i miss him.
tell him i forgive him.

tell him to let his guilt dissipate,
like the smoke from his cigarette;
tell him he knows
he can't just let it churn indefinitely there,
in his lungs.
tell him to exhale.

tell him i love him.
he knows, but tell him;
he needs reminding.

and tell him it's a feeling that
has never left me: not once,
not for a moment,
from then, when we first broke bread,
to now, when we shatter each other's
stares across the room full of people.

tell him our love was a miracle
that gave light to my soul,
confirming its once elusive vitality.

tell him how true it all was,
in spite of and yet because of everything:
the pain,
the laughter,
the ramblings,
the loneliness,
and the chins held high.
declan morrow Aug 28
i had to pinch myself.
i had to claw into my skin
to ensure that i could still feel.
i had to tremble
to ensure that i could still move.
i had to think of you
to recall a time in which
there was no cause for panic.

i thought of you.

i thought my heart was breaking.
i thought it was stopping;
i was frantically searching
for my pulse.
declan morrow Aug 24
7pm
Just look at how
the sun
is shining outside,
how it's
shining on our bed,
how it's
shining on our skin.
what i would say if he were beside me.
declan morrow Aug 22
late afternoon sunlight
painting the buildings across the street,
the city's constant hum,
second avenue's never-ending rush,
taxis,
trucks,
buses,
cyclists coming and going,
faceless people who love each other walking by,
people who love me
telling me what's right,
the sounds of their voices,
your voice
in my head:

it means nothing to me.
i mean nothing to you.
i felt you
gently
stroking
my arm
although my skin was cold.

in the
bliss of
our carelessness
we could feel
ourselves growing old.
declan morrow Jul 18
i wonder what piece of myself
i left with you
to keep:

you,
you,
you,
whom i loved
with the vitality of
spring's awakening;
you,
who made me feel
the warm comfort of green grass
at the bottom of a hospital bed.

we were so young,
so very,
very young:
just babies
learning to talk,
learning to walk,
together.

we were innocent;
we were defenseless
when the pack of wolves came:

they came and snatched you away.

now,
your name shall forever be
on my lips:
you,
in every word i say.

and though you've gone,
and though i ache,
the taste of honey
shall never leave my tongue
for i still love you so.
"it's either my thyroid
or an iron deficiency"
i would say.

but it was always you:
etching away at
my waist
my thighs
my cheeks
straight
to the bare bone.

how did you expect me
to busy myself
while i slowly withered away,
waiting for the day
when you'd realize how
you
were the one
who was drowning me?

but it's just that
every ******* time our eyes met,
or we grazed each other
under the platonic guise,

i collapsed.

i exhaled,
retaining my semblance of calmness
while i dutifully
parted ways with
another fragment of my pure innocence;

i knew it was you.
it always was you.
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