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 Dec 2018 Matterhorn
Ally Ann
A friend asked me
how to be a writer.
I wanted to say,
lock yourself in a room,
scream until you have
a poem and no voice.
Open your veins and bleed
until you know that your bones
are pure words and sorrow.
Act as if you slit your own throat
and all you can bleed
are your own regrets
and all of the darkness
you boxed up for inspiration.
Write your mom a letter,
tell her you're leaving
and you won't be back for awhile
Because being a writer is traveling
through all seven layers of Hell
and denying anything is wrong.
Forget loving yourself
when all you have is a pen and paper
fused to your wrist
and Jesus is tapping at your skull
saying turn back now.
Warn the neighbors that if they smell burning
It's just your soul
clawing at the front door trying to get in.
Learn how to be alone.
Learn how to lose everything you have
in order to feel release,
learn how to only feel deceased
from now on.
A friend asked me
how to be a writer.
All I said was
don't
 Dec 2018 Matterhorn
Jack Kerouac
The wheel of the quivering meat
conception
Turns in the void expelling human beings,
Pigs, turtles, frogs, insects, nits,
Mice, lice, lizards, rats, roan
Racinghorses, poxy bucolic pigtics,
Horrible unnameable lice of vultures,
Murderous attacking dog-armies
Of Africa, Rhinos roaming in the
jungle,
Vast boars and huge gigantic bull
Elephants, rams, eagles, condors,
Pones and Porcupines and Pills-
All the endless conception of living
beings
Gnashing everywhere in Consciousness
Throughout the ten directions of space
Occupying all the quarters in & out,
From supermicroscopic no-bug
To huge Galaxy Lightyear Bowell
Illuminating the sky of one Mind-

Poor!
I wish I was free
of that slaving meat wheel
and safe in heaven dead.
 Dec 2018 Matterhorn
Jack Kerouac
Society has good intentions Bureaucracy is like a friend
5 years ago - other furies other losses -

America's
trying to control the uncontrollable Forest fires, Vice

The essential smile In the essential sleep Of the children Of the essential mind

I'm
all thru playing the American
Now I'm going to live a good quiet life

The
world should be built for foot walkers

Oily
rivers Of spiney Nevady

I
am Jake Cake
Rake
Write like Blake

The
horse is not pleased Sight of his
gorgeous finery
in the dust Its silken
nostrils
did disgust

Cats
arent kind Kiddies anent sweet

April
in Nevada - Investigating Dismal Cheyenne Where the war parties
In fields
of straw
Aimed over oxen At Indian Chiefs
In wild headdress Pouring thru
the gap
In Wyoming plain
To make the settlers
Eat more dust than dust
was eaten In the States From East at Seacoast Where wagons made up To dreadful
Plains
Of clazer vup

Saltry
settlers
Anxious to ******* The Mongol Sea (I'm too tired in Cheyenne -
No sleep in 4 nights now, & 2 to go)
 Nov 2018 Matterhorn
Jack Kerouac
The low yellow
moon above the
Quiet lamplit house.
 Nov 2018 Matterhorn
Jack Kerouac
-lights out-
fall, hands a-clasped, into instantaneous
ecstasy like a shot of ****** or morphine,
the gland inside of my brain discharging
the good glad fluid (Holy Fluid) as
i hap-down and hold all my body parts
down to a deadstop trance-Healing
all my sicknesses-erasing all-not
even the shred of a 'I-hope-you' or a
Loony Balloon left in it, but the mind
blank, serene, thoughtless. When a thought
comes a-springing from afar with its held-
forth figure of image, you spoof it out,
you spuff it off, you fake it, and
it fades, and thought never comes-and
with joy you realize for the first time
'thinking's just like not thinking-
So I don't have to think
any
more'
 Nov 2018 Matterhorn
Jack Kerouac
The taste
of rain
—Why kneel?


Picking the threads of LOVE memories
By weaving my mornings and evenings
That is how I've survived eternity
By unconditionally LOVING YOU

Though I meet you within me every moment
Still I long for you day and night

You took away my life to live for yourself
And left me with a paper and pen
To write YOU letters, quotes and poems every day

You took away the blood out of my veins
And kept me alive on your drips of LOVE

You took away my breathe from my body
And filled me with fragrance of your being

You took yourself away from me
And left behind your SOUL within me

You walk away from my heart
But with every step you took
You traveled back within (inside) me
Carving imprints of your LOVE-feet
Over my mind, body, heart & soul

Everywhere I look - I search for YOU
You are not present physically
Yet I can only see - YOU, You, you
In everything I look at...

You rendered my heart in black & white
Yet I draw you everyday with
The colors of your LOVE that
You left on my illuminated heart's palette

We do not sleep together on the same bed
Yet I make sure that you do not sleep without
Listening to my LOVE lullaby every night

Come and see -
In and around me
YOU sparkle like stars in my night-sky
YOU shine like the bright moon outside my window
YOU adorn colorful flowers in my day-garden

YOU took away my strength to walk in life
Yet YOU usher me slowly
Step by step - teaching me
To walk within your SOUL

You took away my strength to talk confidently
But taught me to sing a LOVE song for YOU

YOU left with me a bunch of paper flowers
I dip them into my blood
And present them back to YOU every morning
Representing the LOVE of real and alive
Beautiful flowers of our LOVE

I do not know about others who are with YOU
But you make my world go round
By just your mere presence on this earth

Though the world sees me aloof-alone all the time
Still everyone who sees me
Calls me as your TRUE LOVERz
And calls me only by your name...
BELOVEDz-LOVERz


**Notes:**
*These are the Eternal truths of our LOVE
Tied as threads with which
We weave our LOVE story*

— The End —