why do i crumble
fall into pieces of
oats and sugar
something beautiful
in a white bowl, but
a mess on the floor
when i wake up
in an empty house
why do i wither like
brown leaves
under brand new and
borrowed boots atop
autumn sidewalks
when i’m alone,
i’m alone,
i’m alone
it is not enough
to eat breakfast
however small
to wash my hair with
coconut milk
to not step out into
the busy street;
i freeze before the ice
touches me
i do not allow
the chance to warm
my own hands
i lie down, on
***** sheets,
and wait for someone
anyone
anything
to awaken me

I lost everything that ever made me happy. I can't find it anywhere. I lost my best friend to god, and now I can only see her in the cemetery. I lost the one I love because I stupidly walked away, and now he want's me back and that will only cause a whole other charade. I lost my friends to other people, because I didn't want to get out of bed to go see them. I lost happiness over the years, when I realized happiness really didn't appear. It was a figment of my imagination, something I made believe, and it was something I really couldn't see. I lost the will to walk this earth, because all I do is hurt. I seem to misplace the time when I actually had the will to survive and now it seems that I don't have much of a life. I lost everything I had because I was always depressed and not very emotionally alive.

Do you
miss when I walk by
or when I catch your eye
how about when you see me smile
or when you want to cuddle

Do you miss being able to call me yours
or say, " you will forever be mine."
Do you hate when I flirt with another guy
right in front of your very own eyes

Do you ever think about the future
and what it would be like
if I was there
right by your side

Do you ever want me back?
If you do..
All you have to do is ask.

My love isn't like everyone else's. I never thought I would end up happy, especially even now. People may try to come between, and I no longer am sitting by and watching things happen. I love him, and I think he is the best thing for me. He cares about me for me, and only wants me to get better. He wants to be there every waking minute, and I'm glad he wants to be. I never thought love was real, but it seems now that it must be.

Home is supposed to be where the heart is, but I don't see it. Home begins with one person... YOU! You cannot have a home without yourself. Yourself is the most important part of a home, because it is where you feel safest. If you don't know where your home is, maybe take a step back and try looking again. Home is what you make of it, not about what other people think. Only what you want it to be and where you want it to be. Not everyone's home is the same. " I'm coming home, to the place where I belong." Home is where you belong and you make yourself belong.

I always say
I need out
I need to go home.

Truth:
I don’t need home

I need anywhere but home
I need someone who loves me
Someone to hold me
Kiss me
Hug me
And tell me:
Everything will be ok.

In a way it does mean I need out.
I need out of my “home”
Out of my mom’s control
Out of my mom’s lies.
I just need
Out.

It's almost over
the pain I feel everyday
the ways I used to cope
the ways that I didn't think I could get over the things that tore me down
I am stronger
You can be stronger
Everything can be almost over with the help you need
My pain is almost over