Oh how the world forgets the harshest truth:

Friends can break your heart too

I could never risk
Pouring myself
Into hands that couldn’t hold me
But here I am
Spilling out of my cup
Hoping that you can catch me
With the holes of your heart

You let me fall so easily
Into the little space between your arm and chest
You knew that I was drunk
Intoxicated by the music, the dancing,
the *****, and you
My lips brushed against your cheek
My fingers traced your lips
Then my lips replaced my fingers
I was too drunk to realize
Until I pulled away
You pulled me back in
Passionate, passion I've yearned for
Passion I had never received
Now as reality displaces fantasy
I know that I was just another girl
A convenient option, a pit stop
That you periodically stop in
When did I become like this?

Can you come a little closer?
Let me undress your wounds
And let your wounds bleed and bleed
Let me help you find some release

I know you’re not used to
Letting others sit in your cult of pain
But I feel your pain too
Please let me feel it with you

Don’t push your pain to the shadow of your mind
Embrace it, reveal it, you deserve to feel it
Please stop smiling with your misty eyes
Please don’t cover your wounds with bandaid lies

A friend asked me
how to be a writer.
I wanted to say,
lock yourself in a room,
scream until you have
a poem and no voice.
Open your veins and bleed
until you know that your bones
are pure words and sorrow.
Act as if you slit your own throat
and all you can bleed
are your own regrets
and all of the darkness
you boxed up for inspiration.
Write your mom a letter,
tell her you're leaving
and you won't be back for awhile
Because being a writer is traveling
through all seven layers of Hell
and denying anything is wrong.
Forget loving yourself
when all you have is a pen and paper
fused to your wrist
and Jesus is tapping at your skull
saying turn back now.
Warn the neighbors that if they smell burning
It's just your soul
clawing at the front door trying to get in.
Learn how to be alone.
Learn how to lose everything you have
in order to feel release,
learn how to only feel deceased
from now on.
A friend asked me
how to be a writer.
All I said was
don't

You call me beautiful like it's my name
Play with my hair, twisting it around your fingers
Kissing my soul, but never my lips
You draw me in like magnets
Priming me until my skin is raw,
until my heart is vulnerable
And then you strike
Shredding the idea of what could've been
With your razor-sharp tongue
Setting my soul on fire
Burning me down, and you won't let me out
Please just let me out
If this is what your love is
I don't know if I want it
But call me beautiful one more time
And I'll fall at your feet

He loves me, he loves me not
Since when were those two things
Mutually exclusive?
To me it seems you both love and hate me
Sweet sweet honey drips from your fangs
As you drain me, why do you drain me
There was a time where I would believe
That I was the one to blame
When you stuck a blade in my gut
But look where I have come now
To know that I deserve consistency
And passion and respect and love
To know that I deserve more
Than you could ever offer me