a writer’s pen
a dancer’s body
scribbling scrawling
undulating gyrating
across floor and paper
danced and imagined
love expressed in words and gestures

it hurts

living
to feel the full force
of the human condition

loving
another then being lied to
and abandoned

when lonely and overwrought
with heartbreak and self loathing

screaming silently
so god can hear me

i pop sleeping pills
to fall asleep and not feel

my only salvation is in writing
to give the pain expression

i’ve lost hope
numb and reeling
living the aftermath
of a foreseen tragedy
remembering
what was important
when there was time
to love
and dream

the sun burns white in an endless sky
as i forget the silver glow of a faint moon
i no longer hear signs of life
all is quiet
most everything is dead
stars hang reflectionless
in a sea of tears
i struggle to remember
what life was like
when things were normal
when there was hope
that last summer
of two thousand nineteen

a dancer’s body
a writer’s pen
undulating gyrating
scribbling scrawling
across floor and paper
choreographing sweating
imagining writing  
touching kissing loving
expressed in her movements and his words

between the sun and moon
in the realm of dreams and fantasies
i kissed a fairy
ever so softly
reaching out
touching her face
her eyes sweet gentle kind
i cry
as i remember
as the sun rises
wishing begging pleading
she was real

close your eyes
to die
my child
forget it all
let go
let it disappear
remember the pleasure
forget the pain  
surrender
fall asleep
have no fear
awaken never more
rest
forever in peace
mama’s here