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I don't want to commit 

I see you have worked to put something fun together 

I have no idea how much time, thought, energy or money you put into it

Frankly I don't care

Something better might come up 

I wouldn't want to miss out on that if it happens 

I don't even recognize that it won't cost me a thing except a commitment, but I can't give those

Surely your feelings won't be hurt

It doesn't matter anyway

I don't want to commit
 Nov 2019 ghost queen
Kissy Marie
I put on my old boots today
In the leather the sands of the desert ground in deep
I close my eyes and sigh as the taste
Brings back memories I'd rather not keep

Gunmetal black across my back
The crash of thunder, so I thought
But when the sky did not turn black
And weep with the tears that the thunder had wrought

And the sirens screamed
And they still invade dreams
And I fell to my knees
As I watched my friend bleed
On the scorching concrete

I became someone else
My family saw right away
But I've never told them
What happened that day

I keep it locked in
A payment for past sins
As I try to begin
Feeling normal again
But who knows when

Or if

Or how

To forget
Rhyming/ stream of consciousness
 Sep 2019 ghost queen
When you put it like that
It really takes the shine off
Which is a good thing
I guess
I hate to be controlled
By something so base
As biology
It's just a rain in middle of the autumn.
It's just a water which is falling from the sky.
It's just a heaven loudly crying.
The heaven loudly crying while we are apart.
It's just a water, just a season.
It's just an emptiness and prison.
It's just my rainy day without you.
 May 2019 ghost queen
BR Dragos
I cannot recall the best advice
I got from my father
but the best
advice I got from
a man that's not
my father
is to
make friends with loneliness

If you and loneliness are enemies
you'll be lonely

but once you and loneliness are
friends you'll be solitary

The difference between loneliness
and solitude
is the difference
the naive kid who thinks one's
happiness depends upon others
and the wise sage who knows that
one's happiness depends
only on
one's self
and one's self alone.
 May 2019 ghost queen
Lying on my couch;
Lying to myself.
Claiming I will work;
Knowing I will not.

Hiding from the world;
Leaving friends alone.
Hating what I do,
Letting my life rot.

When will I decide,
To face life again?
When no dish is clean?
When all food is gone?

I wish, that I had,
Motivation, an
All-consuming force,
Inspiring action.

But, alas, just me.
Too lazy to work,
Too tired to sleep,
Just dissatisfied.
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