I wish
her scars were on my heart
and not on her arms.

~white clouds nesting dark rocks
—Cold Mountain, The Collected Songs of Cold Mountain

Dark rocks
written November 7th, 2021

Dark rocks rest
in a river bed
as rushing water
froths white in agitation
over their dark peaceful presence.

Dark rocks steadfastly witness
fish tails flickering
velvet deer noses drinking
and cicadas singing
as the moon sets
and the sun rises.

Nothing is lost.
Nothing is wasted.
All is known and seen
somewhere
in the depths
by dark rocks
resting.

Don't worry, spiders,
I keep house
casually.

The  cold wind slapped me
In the face
And brought me
To my senses
Such activity in
The early morning
Grey
Two unexpected gulls
Just enjoying the sky
Dancing over the lake
Taking a bow
Dipping in the
Cold water
For curtain closes
A baby cardinal
Calling in the sky
One two three testing
Her vocal chords
And the resounding
Of birds
Answering her call
Dark purples and grays
Line the sky
And  the movement
Of the lake quickens
Stillness all around
Peace overflowing
I'm no longer cold
Nature has warmed
My heart

Pushing some narcotics,
of yellow, red, and green.
A rainbow of biotic’s,
to match the color scheme.

I have an abundance of diuretics
all different shapes and sizes.
An organized aesthetic
for commercial enterprises.

i dread the day you learn
for the first time that
you can't just love all
the darkness in me away

and no matter how much
you care i will still toss
and turn at night and scars
might still appear on my skin

i dread the day you realize
that you can't cure me
and sometimes all you can do
is stand next to me and
hold my hand through fog
pouring out of my ears so black
and thick we can't even see
each other's faces

i dread the days i can't
get out of bed
the days you want to
take me out and all
i can manage is a prettified
shell of myself

i dread the day you learn
that sometimes no matter
how hard i try i still can't
pull myself together

the day you learn that
there isn't an answer
you can give that will
save me from my fears

you aren't the first person
who has tried to love the
darkness inside away
my family and friends
have given it their all
but someday you too will learn
that if love could
cure mental illness
the world would be
a much better place