Maybe I’m just lonely
I know I don’t need a relationship right now
But maybe we could just be
I know you’re good so I was wondering how

I think I stopped for a girl
Because there’d be no love in that turmoil
And I stopped for my friend
She made it through and me back again
Turns out it was for the Savior
By Him and through Him He made it
Because I was not connected
When I cut myself by selection
But our God went ahead and intervened
Planting seeds between everything
That’s the way our God works
And by this love we are saved from hurts
I obliged and I thanked Him
I die by living for Him
It was no mistake and I was not His favorite
His love is for all at the door hinges

What if sneezing allowed us to rid us of the demons
Instead of blessing flowing from our noses
Our greeting are for the devil’s fleeting
Rejoicing in this enforcement
Contorting the very distortion
And reversing how we curse us
A different stanza to put on our mantle

My premise, would have been my demise
Chalk full of lies, my head hung high
The modus ponens, my mind now opened
Cloaked in codes, now a humble abode
The reprise, will open eyes
Just don’t say it’s unspoken
Take notes, and hold Your tokens
There is hope, coming with vies

NEONISFAKEFIRE.
CAN’TYOUSEE?
NEONISFAKEFIRE.
WELL,ISUPPOSE
YOUHAV­ETOFEEL.

I wanna make a name for myself
But this tower is not to be built
And I did not address You
So You made us a messy tooth
But God defies His own odds
Because right after he made a promise
And after hundreds of years
He proved himself honest and clear

So don’t tell me quite now
I’m okay with that rouse now
Because I found out the voucher
A discount on our amount
That prevents us from feeling
A reinvented sort of seedlings
A halfway sort of meeting
Between everything and nothing
Varying on if I feel something

Tower of Silence - Track 1

Verse 1
I’ve tried to give up poetry as if it’s some sort of addiction
Poison to the heart as if I’m an addict—do you get my depiction?
Addicted to the page, confined to my mind—the paddock
I feel like a ****** who’s on it again
Writing another poem to a friend
For others to use it as I pretend
That I’m not another fanatic, devoted to the pen
I’m addicted to the waves
Tossed and blown about—their slave
They pull me asunder
Oh Lord, take me under, blow my cover

Chorus
No, I don’t know, what’s my direction
But I can accept the blind man’s perception
Take me under, blow my cover

Verse 2
My feet dangle up off the ground
I levitate above the sound
Ever since I was young, I’ve been on dope
Nowadays, I use it to be my rope
I’m just a *** head, I guess
Really it’s just my head, more or less
Am I just being dramatic? I’m emotional
I’m just ranting again, I regret what I told you
It’s just the cof-fee tal-king
So let me just be in my own world
Because I can’t explain what’s in whirl
So how could I be prepared to share
My faith with what’s beneath my hair
So bare with I’m a Thinker
So don’t listen if you rather be keeper, to yourself
Go throw it away and let me do myself
If you stick around keep it on a shelf
It’s therapy for me and it might be scary
It’s the wrists of a poet, my release yet my blade
It’s creativity so I know it, the control of pain
Like you I’m a user of dope
That doesn’t mean that I smoke, no
I’m talking about words with emotion
But sometimes I get lost in this ocean
Compulsive to smoking, I’m writing this hoping
That as my pen is my lighter
And my cigarette is the page
I can light your soul on fire
While keeping this addict in his cage
May your demons choke on the smoke
By the words that are the brume you consume

Chorus
No, I don’t know, what’s my direction
But I can accept the blind man’s perception
Take me under, blow my cover

Verse 3
Tie a noose around my brain with floating feet
Still breathing, my mind will not be able to seep
Choke of the lull, my throat hung on a leash
You demons have no hold on me—capeesh?
It’s a catharsis, but honest, it’s darkness
So it’s not for you if you’re heartless
I could post the depressing lines in my head
The flow is smooth and the lines resonate
I could hold a celebration for another name
At least it’d save me before I dissipate
Then that would just be returning to the dead
I’ve decided that between who would die
I choose my name to be lame and my God to glorify
So between you and I, I’ll write for you instead

Chorus
No, I don’t know, what’s my direction
But I can accept the blind man’s perception
Take me under, blow my cover

Oh Lord, take me under
Blow my cover

My flight suit, is full-proof
I jump in, no regret when
My armor, is stronger, don’t bother
The Father, is all that, I garner
Only He, can get me, father

Stay close to me, flight suit
I say when I don’t want You
I’ll take a step off, wearing my armor
I keep it tight, bound to the light
As I’m falling, into His calling

So easy to slip off, I tip off
I trip and skip down the lip
And I’m falling to the earth
Oh God, this is gonna hurt
But He still supplies my lift

Silence can be dangerous.
The quiet gives us room to think,
where our brains aren't occupied
by the commotion of day-to-day life.
It can be violent,
when we're met face-to-face
with what's going on in our head.
It's frightening,
when our thoughts are blatantky before us.
We're not caught up in the touch-and-go
sensation that distracts our mind from
what darkness dwells behind our skull.
It's always there, just sometimes
it applied a bit more pressure that usual.
But do not fear the stillness.
Daily life can chip away at our bones
until we're left feeling drained.
And sometimes, it's only when everythings's quiet
when we realize this.
We feel lost, hopeless, empty,
and we feal this reality.
But the only way to remedy
is to emerse yourself in the silence.
Do not run from it or find a way out;
let it soak in.
This can be a time where we piece things together,
where we polarize our thoughts,
where we can find the problem.
It may be scary at first.
It can feel lonesome.
But I promise you,
if you stay in your trench,
if you dwell in this darkness,
if you keep yourself here,
eventually, you will find the problem.
I've sat in the silence,
I've found the problem,
I've climbed over my wall.
It was painful,
but with people by my side,
I've made my way out of this trench.
I am a Dreamer,
and so are you.

I didn’t like what I had become
On this website, what I had done
What it had reminded me of
I was ashamed so I left this stage
I hid and hoped you’d forget
About the legacy I wanted to leave
So I left, and put this on a shelf
I don’t know what else I may write
Or what I won’t do right
But I hope to convey some light
That God does not love you based on what you’ve done
But when you accept Him, He loves you through the lens of the Son
When you go to Him and lay down your life
He will not deny you salvation based on your past

I have the drive of a servant
So I need to strive to learn it
It’s not enough to want it
That doesn’t reach the sum of it

Although I know I'm not alone
In the silence I feel so far from home
I cannot hear our song from here
To the point I can surrender to fear
But I won't let myself go under
For I know our march still will cover

App full of sounds I don’t want
Sounds that don’t reflect my cup
I just want my cup to be dumped
See how it goes with the punt

What's wrong with me?
What's my problem?
I want you to see
I need you following to the bottom
No, I am not enough
No, I am not enough
I cannot dig as far as I need to
Whithout them being here beside me too
But will I tell you?
I know, I'll fall if I don't
So why don't I let them know?

there's nothing like
Guatemala
   there's nothing like
waking up to the sound of roosters
   there's nothing like
sitting up in that rickety bed, ready for another day of building a house, even though i went to bed like four hours before
   there's nothing like
slipping on an old hoodie and stepping out into that crisp morning air
   there's nothing like
Guatemalan coffee
   there's nothing like
the early morning conversations, consisting of lighthearted laughter and wise councel
   there's nothing like
simply sitting there, sipping my coffee, watching the sun slowly climb up the trees
   there's nothing like
how i miss these mornings
   and there's nothing like
how God uses that to remind me to serve His people in the mornings where i miss Guatemala

You’re barely keeping your head above the water
Why don’t I try something new and craft a boat
And maybe it will work and you can climb aboard
Because what’s the point if that’s not floating you

The blind live by faith, not by sight
They live in the dark, but step in the light
The blind are guided by the noise
They follow the words of His voice
The blind dance in step of what they hear
They walk in the fog, but their path is clear

you
are the best part of my day
make my day
are my good days

I wonder if it's her,
because I know God works in mysterious ways.

it's quiet now
silence gives me space
i crawl back inside my mind
and see how far my thoughts will go to lie
like my noose, i strangle the truth
uncross my t's, un-dot my i's

I was about to make a rap about the color orange
But then I remembered, what rhymes with orange?
I mean, what actually rhymes with it?
Sure, orange floors, orange to the core, I scorn the orange
That all works, but I suppose there’s nothing like the color orange
I don’t know, I guess I just like the in-between

Am I like Orpheus? Am I morphing this?
Sent to reach into death for the arrested?
Show them they are not owned?
But am I not to look behind, less overthrown?
And if so, will they be taken below?

What’s the purpose of fun
When there is nothing new under the sun
What’s the purpose of music
When you can’t find a new way to use it
Is there any way to tune it now?
Now that we already know how
So I don’t understand how it’s a different sight
Because it was that way in the Bible times
But did the old modern times have such suicide heights
Or is if implicitly implied to stay alive for the light

I can tell that you wanna **** me
When I’m thinking it’ll be easy-er
Well, yer gonna need something stronger
Because you got the same ol’ routine
You aint got no new schemes
You’re the one that’s bleeding
‘Cause you know you don’t hold my meaning

There’s the man in the moon
An ancient rune in the sky
That is sadly too soon to die
And beneath it’s absence I lie
Laying here I’ve radically tried
But I’ve twisted the history
For some victory to sing lyrically
Waxing theological
Maxing cynically
Making it wane honorably
Hating the finical
So what about the man in my skin
And what battles does he win
None, so what’s fun about the sun
What have I to shine light on
Other than a late night care ride without brights on
So I hide away and play it renegade style
Cause the sun’s a definite
But my hope’s in the moon who hasn’t come around in a while
But my clockwork isn’t really legit
Because he was there a few days ago
I’m just stereotyping the ergo in my ego

I just wanna see a day of decay go away
And when I close my eyes I’ll see the prize
Instead of the eyes, I won’t have to try
And another day of grace will come my way

Depression is a room,
one of many in this mansion I call my brain.
I've left, I assume,
but I still hear those demons scream my name.

So I meditate on your temple
Of days back then, way back when
And I seek hope in the simple
I’m using the lead to discover the gold
Prophets of old, inside I hold
My stories of long ago, the beauty in now
As my story unfolds, I’m seeing how

Oh how frustrating it must be
For you to watch the being inside of me
Become the thing it doesn’t want to be
How degrading, the time you’re wasting
Trying your hardest to make me feel
Can I just say that I’m being real?
Trying Your hardest to fill my well
To lose the voices I know so well
Well how frustrating, it must be
As I sit here comfor’bly
How degrading I must seem
As I fade here underneath

Even the ones we love the most
can be a prison to our heart.

It's not notifications on my phone that brings down my grade
It's some fascinatingly odd void that notifies my brain of ideas and passions that become necessary for me to write down or I may just explode

I've had the touch of Your torch
Is it enough of a touch to make me much?
I've touched the tough of Your torch
And I feared I wasn't of the sort
It isn't enough to sort of touch
Is it enough of such to stand on Your porch?
Is it enough, Your torch, to make me such?
It isn't enough, a touch, I want that much
I've touched and You are much, You are my torch
Now I'm such to have the touch of Your torch

You have a life, come and see
Take this pen and do as you please
But in time, please remember me

Nigel seems to be a bit too prideful
I’m afraid he’s the champion
Of this game I’m playing in
I oblige to Nige, and in him I take pride
I try to defy the lies I buy
But with what I’ve become
I’m afriad he’s already won
And there’s nothing that can be done

To a dreamer,
life is a dream.
To a writer,
the world is a writing.
To a lover,
their love is everything.

I look back
at what I've
written, and
I realize I'm
not that fine.
Do you ever
squint your
eyes then
finally realize
you're life's a
little not right?
I'm driving
inside my mind,
and I'm driving
kinda sideways.
A runaway, but
I don't feel free.
I'm swerving
over the yellow
lines. Give me
a chance to
speak my mind.
I know you are
worried, for me
and what I
find. But I
promise you
that I'll come
home sometime.

Can the lost ever truly be found?
How long lasts the holy ground?
When does it end and where to begin?
Are we freed indeed, or do we need
To keep ourselves to our deed to leap?
Well how would we, when we all seep?
Is it truly up to us, to keep us from a cusp?
Will we all just rust, if we’re not keeping up?

God is not the one at fault
For the world’s fallen parts
Satan said I am a hostile rebel
When really the fault is the devil’s
He ought to have know he was mistaken
To mess with the kin in the making
For whenever I doubt or question
I can know God is not done with the quest I’m in

Tower of Silence - Track 7

Verse 1
Once again, I’ve found myself up against a wall
Play pretend, I hear voices linger down the hall
I know, because I’ve done it all before
I don’t feel like doing this anymore
I don’t want to trouble you when the sun sets
I won’t show you all my pieces
I refuse to give you all my troubles
I neglect to let loose to all my demons

Pre-Chorus
Can you hear the voice inside me?
Do you know what my art means?
It’s calling out a cry, showing you my seams
Can you sense what my tongue claims?
Do you feel what I’m trying to say?
It calls you by name, asking you to stay

Chorus
I am a ghost
Transparent to those who get too close
Haunted by the ones I love the most
I’ll transmute on the low
That way they won’t know
And if it’s making me seem low
I am a ghost

Verse 2
All these people, they are real
All these questions, they’re sincere
All these voices, they’re for-real
And I will try, to let your words pass me by
Please ignore me when I say I’m fine
So I’ll ignore you still
On what I’d rather ****
Regardless, I don’t know how I could have fought this
Honest, I’d been even deeper down in the darkness
If it wasn’t for this art, God gave me as a start
But I am haunted still
All these voices, they’re for-real
When I write I begin to fear
At the sight of what is really here
I write some things and it seems so worthless
I say something and it feels so wordless
Maybe that’s the purpose
Memories formless, deep thought verses
Thinking comes to surface
Writing to plead something, rhyming but I say nothing
I have not forgot—You are all I got
Just trying to make it all stop
So before you go, don’t walk away
Listen for what I have to say
Deeper than this art or talent
A different dialect I can’t unpack
Eventually I will have lines to offer you
But you must stay—be here for what I’m going through
Stay by my side and give me time
My head is dead and decayed but I’ll be okay

Pre-Chorus
Can you hear the voice inside me?
Do you know what my art means?
It’s calling out a cry, showing you my seams
Can you sense what my tongue claims?
Do you feel what I’m trying to say?
It calls you by name, asking you to stay

Chorus
I am a ghost
Transparent to those who get too close
Haunted by the ones I love the most
I’ll transmute on the low
That way they won’t know
And if it’s making me seem low
I am a ghost

Verse 3
I’m driving inside my mind, and I’m driving kinda sideways
A runaway, but I don’t feel free
Relying on the highway—why can’t it be my way?
Swerving over the yellow lines
Give me some times to speak my mind
It’s stout to let it all out
So maybe my words are just drought
I know you’re worried for me and what I find
My head’s not right but I’ll be fine
I promise you I’ll come home some time
But in the meantime, listen for my cry
No, you don’t have to keep me down from ledges
Or steal from me razor blades and shoe laces
But prop you door open with wooden wedges
For when I enter into these dark places
For long enough I’ve tended to a heatless fire
Scared of labels they press to uninspire
Tried to convince me this gloom was nothing
Then you’d think I’m demented or something
But at the same time my aloneness was hyped
Making me think I was of the insane type
But it’s nice to hear my words filter in you
Otherwise I don’t know how I’d make it through

Outro
I know it can be hard
Don’t go in alone
Don’t think you have to be tough
Let your cover be shone
Your oxygen’s running low
Let our cover be blown
And steak out the window

Together we’re singing
Lah-lah-lah
Lah-lah-lah
Lah-lah-lah

Faith, like a kid?
Well I got faith, under my bed
I said, will you be my friend?
And then he nods his head
But was something he misread
And he left something unsaid
Nige is my friend
But what he meant was fiend
And I find that I bend
To the weight of this wind
And I become something within
Something I’ve always been

I'm not at all pure,
But I hold the cure.
We're all diseased.
I hold onto the key.

I'm scared of my imagination
I'm scared of my own creation
I don't know what to do with my right side brain
It's the addict that I can't keep contained
I'm just stumbling around
Wandering if I should keep him bound
Or if I should take off the chains
I desire to help others through what I write
But I fear I'd be returning to my dark plight
Because every time I go jot something
I feel like I'm just stumbling
I need to take a careful pace
Careful not to put myself in a hazy place
I still have a bad taste
Of what I've gone through
I need more time before this can help you

twisting behind
both of my eyes,
opening doors
deepening faith

I know hope is knocking at my door
He offers me help, of this I'm sure
So show me how to say goodbye
To all these crimson eyes
I will hold on to what I know
And this truth I know, I won't let go
I'll unlock the door and turn on a light
You have stayed with me, this dark night
I will hand over the key
You are my hope, and again I see

Look at those little birds,
talking about their day,
in a language a lot can't understand,
words between the lines,
but they can't really listen,
because they're all talking at once.
And the telephone line that they sat upon
made me think about us,
suspended by a man-made media,
all talking at once, all trying to say something,
but no one hears, because we all talk at once,
and don't tend to listen.

Soul murderers, what do you think occurs?
Is it because of your hurts, do you not care what is learned?
I’m trying not to get angry but this topic makes me shaky
For the lives you’ve been taking, the life that’s been shaken
And if she likes this bit, you messed up her head to enjoy that pit
And if it was up to me, I’d use profanity
But as you’ll see, God’s forgiven me
And His grace calls for a different pace
And to deny His face would be to claim another throne

We’ve made *** our throne
The thing we turn to when we feel alone
But loneliness comes from trying to fill that hole
With things we should know don’t made us whole
God is the only one that completes us
It offers us nothing to seek lust
So will we force our chasm for a quick ******?
Will we deny the peace at Jesus’ feet for who we weren’t mad to be?
Or trade in *** with our hand for the God who has a much greater plan?
This obsession isn’t a question, rather it’s a name we excuse to be lame
We’re prostitutes if we constitute to enjoy out of how we ought to
But at least a ***** gets paid to save their poor
We look like God requires of us to give up everything
Take a look at Christ and how much to took to bearing
Your sinful ways are dead and buried
I’d say it’s a pretty good trade
To hand your life over to the God who will have it made
You look to these things to feel worth
But wouldn’t you agree this endless cycle is a curse?
Turn to the only name that follows through
Is our Lord and Savior who makes brand new
And my anger is overtaken because He’s the God of savin’
And He will bring justice, but before then He offers us a way out of corruption
There is a God who can revive souls
When you surrender for Him to mold

I wish I wrote a different song no one’s ever heard
I wish my mom would just admit she’s sick of every word
Overplayed, overstayed, it was a smash hit
Funny how overplayed songs sound like crap
I was told my true fans don’t like this song
But I hope they sing along,
I hope they sing along

I must warn you of my condition
Could it really be depression?
It's a disorder I have yet to oblige
For now I'll call it a thorn in my side
But I promise you everything will be alright
I'll get through and I'll be just fine
This thorn in my side may give me some fear
But I've come to understand why it is here
This weakness is not something to hide behind
But a way for me to finally find
Those who are going through the same exercise
Learning with these people how to empathize
And teaching me that I must learn to consign
My thoughts and fears to leave them behind
May these sufferings be scars of my loyalty
And strengthen me in God's sovereignty
I will endure the thoughts I face all day long
Because it is in the Lord that I belong
Were it not for Him, I would have given to the grave
But in His power and goodness, I am saved