I sit here
With intent to write
To finish projects due in hours
But, I stumbled,
Falling victim to media
And you were there,
A face I hadn’t seen in years
Staring at me through a cracked screen
A face that should be nothing less than framed,
Yet is shattered.

Unsure of why I left,
I can only imagine your thoughts,
Confusion may lie within you,
As it does me.

Was I making a point?
I forget.
Perhaps I should try to remember,
Or maybe I should leave it where it lay,
Blocked from any means of remembrance,
Just as I left you.

Was it mutual?
Probably.
For why else would you refuse contact
Other than to rid yourself of someone
Leaking toxicity, staining
Your Calvin Klein briefs
And Banana Republic sweaters
With their cheap ideas and faulty concepts.

I believed I wanted to be as good as you
And with you
And I still do,
Sometimes.
But, generally,
I think I’m better
Now.
Maybe.

Is this love?
I’m unsure.
I think I’m in love
Without you,
But also with you.
I have a second half,
Or maybe two,
Is this why I’ve felt dead?
Functioning at only a third
Of what I should be?
Demotivated and motionless,
Stationary,
Grounded
Due to hopelessness of a future
With you,
Without him?
There is no prosperity or happiness
In a life without either one
Of you
But maybe especially this one.

You’re 4000 miles away,
And you’re remarkable.
Congratulations.