Anxiety rolls away in my tummy,
My heart flutters,
My head screams,
It's nonsense,
Nothing and everything all at once.
There's no reason for it,
No understanding,
But there it is,
Needling me,
Torturing me,
And there isn't anything I can do,
But to ride it out,
Smile it away,
"Fake it until you make it."
But will I?
Can I?
There is no other option,
So I just do it,
And hope it fades quickly,
God help me.
These moments,
They just ****.
But at least I'm alive,
That thought always helps me through it.

Secrets,
Secrets,
All around!
Whispers,
Whispers,
Little sounds...
What's that buzzing in my head?
Is it the voices of the dead?
I hear noises,
I feel things,
What's with all this wondering?
Mysteries,
Magic,
The world awaits you,
What's the secret that consumes you?
Let it out,
Feel the freedom,
Knowing it wasn't meant to keep you,
Bind you in this vegetative state,
Let it out!
Must not hesitate...
Secrets,
Secrets,
What do you hide?
Whispers,
Whispers,
Release your pride!
No one is better than anyone else...

Silently,
Quietly,
I awaken to the world that surrounds me,
Ripped from my dreams,
Not sure what has woken me.
I feel a tiny hand on my arm,
A foot in my rib cage,
These days are numbered,
I know it won't last long.
Already ten and nine,
Where has this decade gone...
I stay quiet a bit longer,
And think of these years past,
There is so much I don't want to ever forget,
I hope my brain remembers it all,
But I find it already getting foggy,
Making way for more memories.
I love them like no other,
They are the best of us,
Thank God.

It's heavy,
It's tiring,
The not knowing,
The worrying...
When will it end,
Will it ever really end...
What is an ending anyway,
If what follows is merely a continuation,
And not a new beginning,
As everyone leads you to believe...
They say when one door closes,
Another one opens,
But what if it's the same door,
Just a different person answering...
Maybe we really aren't meant to know,
It's all blind faith,
Isn't it?

The world outside is rattling my brain, and I really cannot seem to focus; the snow begins to quietly fall, the world projects a slower pace.

I  am afraid to move ahead, my internal compass needs to be recalibrated; the impending darkness brings a purplish hue, I am captivated by the swirling winds.

I realize I'm holding my breath, I forget how my lungs work; the storm picks up, showering its frozen crystals in random patterns.

Somehow I always end up where I need to be, not necessarily where I want to be; the beauty outside takes my breath away, I pretend we're isolated from the rest of the world.