My employer is leeching all it can from me
and I’m leeching all I can from it

it’s a competition
a gentleman’s game

where the stake for me is my life
and the stake for it is like 37 dollars.

Parody of Squeez®  by Shawn Wasabi and Raychel Jay

The legal code been looking kinda murky
If you want it I can shake it
I can stir it
I could gore you some

I can make it kinda *****
Put some trim upon your body
And I bet ya I could get you cuffed

We're the vultures that'll take your future
You're lookin' like you're black
Let me take your picture

Wake up in the prison and I'll still be with ya
With ya, with ya, wi- wi- with ya

We can ****
Then get praised
We're for sale

I can't wait
'Til you taste
My **** pain

Freeze
It's the cop cop cop cop
Committin' crimes for pension

Freeze
It's the cop cop cop cop
Let me show you inside prison

Freeze
It's the cop cop cop cop (What?)
It's the cop cop cop cop cop cop (Cop!)
It's the cop cop cop cop (What?)
It's the cop cop cop cop cop cop

If I'me being honest I can barely pay the rent
So I'm meddlin' in crime
And I'm meddlin' in ****

And I think I want your money like a million percent
So I'm meddlin' in crime
And I'm muddlin' your
Ha

Lick my lips of donut syrup
You're lookin' for a crime ring
But we ain't that serious

Take a sip of power and we get delirious
-lerious, -lerious, -le -le -lerious

We can ****
Then get praised
We're for sale

I can't wait
'Til you taste
My **** pain

Freeze
It's the cop cop cop cop
Committin' crimes for pension

Freeze
It's the cop cop cop cop
Let me show you inside prison

Freeze
It's the cop cop cop cop (What?)
It's the cop cop cop cop cop cop (Cop!)
It's the cop cop cop cop (What?)
It's the cop cop cop cop cop cop

The legal code been looking kinda murky
If you want it I can shake it
I can stir it
I could gore you some

I can make it kinda *****
Put some trim upon your body
And I bet ya I could get you cuffed

Freeze
It's the cop cop cop cop
Committin' crimes for pension

Freeze
It's the cop cop cop cop
Let me show you inside prison

Freeze
It's the cop cop cop cop (What?)
It's the cop cop cop cop cop cop (Cop!)
It's the cop cop cop cop (What?)
It's the cop cop cop cop cop cop

It's the cop cop cop cop (What?)
It's the cop cop cop cop cop cop (Cop!)
It's the cop cop cop cop (What?)
It's the cop cop cop cop cop cop

Cop cop cop cop cop cop cop cop cop cop (What?)
It's the cop cop cop cop cop (What?)
Cop cop cop cop

Freeze
It's the cop cop cop cop cop (What?)
Cop cop cop cop

Freeze
Freeze

I’m being tickled to death
begging not to die through laughter.

Quite a draining journey
traveling through this drainage tunnel
groping my way through the disorienting darkness
arms of lifelessness reach out from the walls
constantly tugging at my shirt
it's my health that they hurt
when I try to run
they grab and stun
forcing me to buy movement
at the price of energy
they hold tokens in their hands
inscribed with the drainage brand
like the hair from the drain in my sink
or the phlegm drained from my sinuses
I wade through the **** of stomach minuses
moving through a drainage tunnel death funnel
aches develop in my feet
as well as my back
I can't handle the heat
or how the inside is black
I start walking slower and slower
as the ceiling gets lower and lower
the backbreaking pressure
makes my height lesser
so I crawl through the filth
of all this drainage I built
the hands that hold me down
are now my only company
their frustrating grabbing
now feels like a lulling caress
coaxing me to stay in this tunnel
all other voices are muddled
because of the drainage in my ear
blocking communication with fear
a wall of wax
that won't collapse
creates an axe
to cut off my head
from suffering dread
wondering when this tunnel will end
because there's no light to be found
in this tunnel I crawl down
gagged and bound
from the hands all around
grabbing at my brain
to push it down the drain.

I had that dream again
the one where I'm floating in space
stuck in a box that looks like where I sleep
I can't control my container's course
as it floats towards a black hole
I try to push my cell in another direction
but I just make the room spin
faster and faster
until I'm holding onto the floor for comfort
then I look over and see you
laying next to me
making me feel safe and warm
we kiss and cuddle
forgetting the spinning cosmos outside.

I know you're not real
you're an amalgamation of everyone I know
friends, family, suitors, lovers
you may not be real
but the safety you provide in my nightmare is
so I thank you for that
and for spending time with me
which is how I know you're not real
but I enjoy our nights together all the same.

There’s a message
under the last text I sent you
that reads Read Yesterday
my heart was red yesterday
my heart you read yesterday
my heart had bled yesterday
so my heart has fled yesterday
into today
the sun’s rays
cure the dumb craze
brought on by that one phrase
that reads Read Yesterday.

Frozen and packaged
then pulled out and ravaged

put on the grill
to give them their fill

flipped and fried
on the more tender side

pressed against the surface
for a convenient purchase

throw in some sauce
to cover up the flaws

put in a bag
that’s easy to grab

eaten and discarded
as someone jokes that they farted.